aku gi ofis arini, nak update report client ni, jakgi si client ni rupenye tak hantar2 pon report tu dari aku dah remind jumaat lepas. bodo tol.
i tested again yesterday, and the other line didnt appear at all, not even faint. aku pun kdg2 takpaham nape jadi mcm tu, dah banyak kali sgt jadi kat aku dari tahun lepas.
tapi yg loye dgn nak muntah tu masih rase lagi setiap pagi. aku teringat citer kwn aini yg name kedi tu, dah pegi ultrasound nampak ade ketul, mcm pregnant tapi hpt still negative sampai die dah dkt 8weeks mcm tu..mule2 aku xcaya yg die pgnant sbb hpt negative tapi kat u/s leh nampak...aku ckp kat dia maybe ni mcm cyst ke ape ni.
2weeks later doc komfem die pregnant sbb hpt die baru nampak 2 line.
so this thing can happen eh sbenanya? ive read somewhere that soMETimes hCG hormon can take a while to make it to our urine. camtu pon bleh rupenye. take a while tu takat 2 3 hari or seminggu mmg common la..tapi sampai leh nampak kat u/s tapi still negative mmg itu je kes yg aku penah dgr. so i could be her?
ceh, nak sedapkan ati la konon.
xpe laa, nnt aku cube balik dgn fertilaid ni. tapi aku tak period2 la weh, leteh la tunggu nak period ni. tattau nape aku jadi makin terok tahon ni. makin lame makin terok weh..ke aku kene dgr ckp dr delaila utk pakai Gonal-F tu?
sebenanye aku yg berlaku kat reproductive system aku skang ni? yg cramps2 tu amende? sakit weh, ngilu2 pon ada. astu nak muntah tu ape? kalau tak pregnant takyah aa nak tunjok muntah la cramps bagai! eh marah lak.
camne nak jwp eh raye esok ni...
"berdose ke kalau takdpt anak lagi?"
"salah ke kalau belom mengandung?"
ok dah dpt.
August 29, 2011
August 26, 2011
Aidilfitri 1432h
Dah ramai org start balik kampong dah..
Aku nak ambik kesempatan ni utk mintak maaf zahir dan batin, dari hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki atas semua kesilapan, kesalahan, kebusukkan (hehe) aku kat korang yg pernah bace blog aku ni. Mungkin penah kata2 aku yg menyinggung stengah2 pihak, secare sengaje atau tak, aku insan lemah. kdg2 sakit hati terlebih2 tapi aku cepat kool down. Aku pon dah maafkan semua orang.
Untuk hari raya tahun ini, tipu la kalau aku ckp aku tak mengharap good news itu, kalau ada leh la atleast jawap soalan org like "Insyallah, mcm ada..doa kan laa" instead of jawap "Lom ada lagi"
..aku masih mengharap dan mengharap, lebih2 lagi HPTs yang suka bagi harapan mase mule2, then hilang begitu sahaja. Aku dah byk kali terkena false hope dgn hpTs ni. jadi aku takot sgt.
BBT aku elevated semalam, naik ke 36.88c dari 36.58c, aku takot kalau ape yg aku rase ni cume perasaan aku je n aku takot kalau ape yg aku tgk tuh mata aku je yg main2.
aku memberanikan diri buat hpt 2 hari lepas, both of them are faint positive. FAINT, whereas, could be vanished bila2 mase esok..aku doa sgt it will get darker. BUT if not, erm kena beli lagi la FertilAid ni tapi kene gak jumpe doc utk induce period. sbb dah nak abis dah fertilaid tu. aku stop makan jap sbb dlm tu dia kate kalau ade rase mcm tande2 pregnant, stop skejap until period or confirm tak pregnant. Dari isnin aritu dah la cramp terok gila, then selasa sampai harini aku loye nak muntah. perot taksedap. sbb puase kot. eh tattau.
Oh by the way, kawan saya Nana pregnant lagi, congratulations, dah nak masuk no 2 dah dia. Aku rase kwn2 aku yg beriye subor sgt ni Aini, Hana dan Nana. masing2 serentak satu satu dpt. Murah rezeki diorg tu.
Tapi rezeki aku pun murah gak, tang lain la. Tak murah rezeki kat anak, murah rezeki kat job, kat family, kawan2..semua ini rezeki jugak kan. rezeki tu bukan semata2 duit dan anak sahaje. mempunyai kawan yang ramai jugak rezeki. mempunyai keluarga sendiri dan keluarga mertua yg best lagi sporting dan penyayang, pun rezeki. Mempunyai kenderaan dan kerja yg stabil juga rezeki, mempunyai bos yg baik hati dan sporting juga rezeki, akhir skali, mempunyai suami yang sgt sayang aku dan rumahtangga yg bahagia juga rezeki.
21 Aug 2011 haritu, aku dan AKAR shah alam pegi buat lawatan ke Rumah Jagaan OKU & Warga Tua NUR, dekat titiwangsa. nanti aku pos gambar. sape tak INSAF pegi situ mmg gila. SEBAK gile, melihat org2 tua yang semuanya MASIH ada anak, ada yg anak 4 anak 5, tapi kenape letak mak diorg kat situ?
Kadang aku terfikir, its better not having children at all than to have children who cannot take care of you when u get old. Or sick. KENAPA letak mak korang kat situ????? Entah2 mak tu mase nak dapat korang punye llaa susah gila. skali keluar dah besar gi boh kat situ. sh*t
Sedih la weh. Lepas raya ni kami plan nak pegi lagi. Sebab rumah tu mcm takde siapa yg peduli. tak mcm rumah anak2 yatim yg famous skang ni, atau rumah org tua2 yang owned by well-known management, mewah diorg tu. Tapi rumah yang aku pegi haritu, Ya Allah...semue brg makan dkt dapur diorg ade yg dah busuk, sayur2 semue dah lecor, makanan2 byk yg dah expired (diorg kata rumah yatim lain yg bagi, bila dah expired diorg campak ke rumah tu) Tapi disebabkan itu je yang ada, expired pun diorg makan. Baju yg kami bagi semua, diorg menerima dgn wajah yg sangat gembira. Baju yg diorg pakai pun alahai, sedih weh.
Expenses sebulan diorg dlm lebih kurang 6800, utk pampers, utk ubat2, utk susu org tua tu semua, dan lain2. You can go to
http://devidalildevil.blogspot.com/2011/08/captain-malaysia-of-flyfm-at-rumah-oku.html
http://devidalildevil.blogspot.com/2011/05/mengunjungi-pusat-jagaan-oku-nur.html
http://devidalildevil.blogspot.com/2011/05/need-help-pusat-jagaan-titian-oku-nur.html
Bantu lah diorg, kesian sgt. Info semua leh google and leh check fb, search Pusat Jagaan OKU Nur. Blogger atas ni pernah pegi ke rumah org tua ni, then dia ajak Fly.Fm pegi skali. kami ni antara group yg ke 3-4 yg dtg ke ruman tu sejak dibuka 2009.
Sumbangkan lah berapa2 yang korang mampu utk diorg, kita ni sbenanye MEWAH dan should be thankful, diorg tu lagi sedih. yg OKU, mak dah takde, ade yg mak letak kat situ sbb dah taknak jage,...isk...OKU mental kebanyakkannya. nampak normal, tapi mental diorg masalah. kdg2 leh ngamok2, kdg2 ok, kdg2 senyap...Bantu lah dirog weh..
Semalam, lepas jemaah maghrib dgn laki aku, kitorg baca yassin, tibe2 die ckp "Sebelum baca, mintak dengan Allah nak mintak ape2, mintak skang"
aku tanye soalan sengal "dalam hati ke ape?"
"ye laaa"
Die mcm tau yg aku sgt anxious nak tau kenape aku asik taklarat je this week. mcm tau je yg aku harap ade janin yg lekat bulan ni..huhu..
Selamat Hari Raya all..
Aku nak ambik kesempatan ni utk mintak maaf zahir dan batin, dari hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki atas semua kesilapan, kesalahan, kebusukkan (hehe) aku kat korang yg pernah bace blog aku ni. Mungkin penah kata2 aku yg menyinggung stengah2 pihak, secare sengaje atau tak, aku insan lemah. kdg2 sakit hati terlebih2 tapi aku cepat kool down. Aku pon dah maafkan semua orang.
Untuk hari raya tahun ini, tipu la kalau aku ckp aku tak mengharap good news itu, kalau ada leh la atleast jawap soalan org like "Insyallah, mcm ada..doa kan laa" instead of jawap "Lom ada lagi"
..aku masih mengharap dan mengharap, lebih2 lagi HPTs yang suka bagi harapan mase mule2, then hilang begitu sahaja. Aku dah byk kali terkena false hope dgn hpTs ni. jadi aku takot sgt.
BBT aku elevated semalam, naik ke 36.88c dari 36.58c, aku takot kalau ape yg aku rase ni cume perasaan aku je n aku takot kalau ape yg aku tgk tuh mata aku je yg main2.
aku memberanikan diri buat hpt 2 hari lepas, both of them are faint positive. FAINT, whereas, could be vanished bila2 mase esok..aku doa sgt it will get darker. BUT if not, erm kena beli lagi la FertilAid ni tapi kene gak jumpe doc utk induce period. sbb dah nak abis dah fertilaid tu. aku stop makan jap sbb dlm tu dia kate kalau ade rase mcm tande2 pregnant, stop skejap until period or confirm tak pregnant. Dari isnin aritu dah la cramp terok gila, then selasa sampai harini aku loye nak muntah. perot taksedap. sbb puase kot. eh tattau.
Oh by the way, kawan saya Nana pregnant lagi, congratulations, dah nak masuk no 2 dah dia. Aku rase kwn2 aku yg beriye subor sgt ni Aini, Hana dan Nana. masing2 serentak satu satu dpt. Murah rezeki diorg tu.
Tapi rezeki aku pun murah gak, tang lain la. Tak murah rezeki kat anak, murah rezeki kat job, kat family, kawan2..semua ini rezeki jugak kan. rezeki tu bukan semata2 duit dan anak sahaje. mempunyai kawan yang ramai jugak rezeki. mempunyai keluarga sendiri dan keluarga mertua yg best lagi sporting dan penyayang, pun rezeki. Mempunyai kenderaan dan kerja yg stabil juga rezeki, mempunyai bos yg baik hati dan sporting juga rezeki, akhir skali, mempunyai suami yang sgt sayang aku dan rumahtangga yg bahagia juga rezeki.
21 Aug 2011 haritu, aku dan AKAR shah alam pegi buat lawatan ke Rumah Jagaan OKU & Warga Tua NUR, dekat titiwangsa. nanti aku pos gambar. sape tak INSAF pegi situ mmg gila. SEBAK gile, melihat org2 tua yang semuanya MASIH ada anak, ada yg anak 4 anak 5, tapi kenape letak mak diorg kat situ?
Kadang aku terfikir, its better not having children at all than to have children who cannot take care of you when u get old. Or sick. KENAPA letak mak korang kat situ????? Entah2 mak tu mase nak dapat korang punye llaa susah gila. skali keluar dah besar gi boh kat situ. sh*t
Sedih la weh. Lepas raya ni kami plan nak pegi lagi. Sebab rumah tu mcm takde siapa yg peduli. tak mcm rumah anak2 yatim yg famous skang ni, atau rumah org tua2 yang owned by well-known management, mewah diorg tu. Tapi rumah yang aku pegi haritu, Ya Allah...semue brg makan dkt dapur diorg ade yg dah busuk, sayur2 semue dah lecor, makanan2 byk yg dah expired (diorg kata rumah yatim lain yg bagi, bila dah expired diorg campak ke rumah tu) Tapi disebabkan itu je yang ada, expired pun diorg makan. Baju yg kami bagi semua, diorg menerima dgn wajah yg sangat gembira. Baju yg diorg pakai pun alahai, sedih weh.
Expenses sebulan diorg dlm lebih kurang 6800, utk pampers, utk ubat2, utk susu org tua tu semua, dan lain2. You can go to
http://devidalildevil.blogspot.com/2011/08/captain-malaysia-of-flyfm-at-rumah-oku.html
http://devidalildevil.blogspot.com/2011/05/mengunjungi-pusat-jagaan-oku-nur.html
http://devidalildevil.blogspot.com/2011/05/need-help-pusat-jagaan-titian-oku-nur.html
Bantu lah diorg, kesian sgt. Info semua leh google and leh check fb, search Pusat Jagaan OKU Nur. Blogger atas ni pernah pegi ke rumah org tua ni, then dia ajak Fly.Fm pegi skali. kami ni antara group yg ke 3-4 yg dtg ke ruman tu sejak dibuka 2009.
Sumbangkan lah berapa2 yang korang mampu utk diorg, kita ni sbenanye MEWAH dan should be thankful, diorg tu lagi sedih. yg OKU, mak dah takde, ade yg mak letak kat situ sbb dah taknak jage,...isk...OKU mental kebanyakkannya. nampak normal, tapi mental diorg masalah. kdg2 leh ngamok2, kdg2 ok, kdg2 senyap...Bantu lah dirog weh..
Semalam, lepas jemaah maghrib dgn laki aku, kitorg baca yassin, tibe2 die ckp "Sebelum baca, mintak dengan Allah nak mintak ape2, mintak skang"
aku tanye soalan sengal "dalam hati ke ape?"
"ye laaa"
Die mcm tau yg aku sgt anxious nak tau kenape aku asik taklarat je this week. mcm tau je yg aku harap ade janin yg lekat bulan ni..huhu..
Selamat Hari Raya all..
August 24, 2011
Cramps again
Alright, alright
these cramps are back. since 3 days ago. this better be good! i dont mind, if it meant any pregnancy, or, PERIOD. i dont mind, as long as it MEANT something. i hate UNEXPLAINED cramps! and i feel nausea for 3 days too. and, my temp has been raised a bit for 3 days too,..
benci nak buat hpt, nanti frust. kalo esok rase mcm nak muntah2 lagi, er kene la check..kot2 la ade rezeki. tapi entah, hati mcm kering je. sbb lame gile tak period...tah2 puase penoh bulan ni gaknye. dah hari ke 61 dah pon since last day period..haih...
these cramps are back. since 3 days ago. this better be good! i dont mind, if it meant any pregnancy, or, PERIOD. i dont mind, as long as it MEANT something. i hate UNEXPLAINED cramps! and i feel nausea for 3 days too. and, my temp has been raised a bit for 3 days too,..
benci nak buat hpt, nanti frust. kalo esok rase mcm nak muntah2 lagi, er kene la check..kot2 la ade rezeki. tapi entah, hati mcm kering je. sbb lame gile tak period...tah2 puase penoh bulan ni gaknye. dah hari ke 61 dah pon since last day period..haih...
Infertility Etiquette - by http://ttcbabyblog.blogspot.com
Infertility Etiquette
(Thanks to 'Miracle in the Making' for posting this! Make sure to visit her at her blog!) http://ttcbabyblog.blogspot.com/
By Vita Alligood
Chances are, you know someone who is struggling with infertility. More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. Yet, as a society, we are woefully uninformed about how to best provide emotional support for our loved ones during this painful time.
Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn’t coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.
The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy’s nose and daddy’s eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.
As the couple moves into infertility treatments, the pain increases while the bank account depletes. Most infertility treatments involve using hormones, which alter the user’s moods. (That statement is like calling a lion a cat-my husband would tell you that the side effect is insanity!) The tests are invasive and embarrassing to both parties, and you feel like the doctor has taken over your bedroom. And for all of this discomfort, you pay a lot of money. Infertility treatments are expensive, and most insurance companies do not cover the costs. So, in addition to the pain of not conceiving a baby each month, the couple pays out anywhere from $300 to five figures (10's of thousands of dollars), depending upon the treatment used.
A couple will eventually resolve the infertility problem in one of three ways:
They will eventually conceive a baby.
They will stop the infertility treatments and choose to live without children.
They will find an alternative way to parent, such as by adopting a child or becoming a foster parent.
Reaching a resolution can take years, so your infertile loved ones need your emotional support during this journey. Most people don’t know what to say, so they wind up saying the wrong thing, which only makes the journey so much harder for their loved ones. Knowing what not to say is half of the battle to providing support.
Don’t Tell Them to Relax
Everyone knows someone who had trouble conceiving but then finally became pregnant once she “relaxed.” Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of “relaxing” are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as “infertile” until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year. In fact, most infertility specialists will not treat a couple for infertility until they have tried to become pregnant for a year.
This year weeds out the people who aren’t infertile but just need to “relax.” Those that remain are truly infertile. Comments such as “just relax” or “try going on a cruise” create even more stress for the infertile couple, particularly the woman. The woman feels like she is doing something wrong when, in fact, there is a good chance that there is a physical problem preventing her from becoming pregnant.
These comments can also reach the point of absurdity. As a couple, my husband and I underwent two surgeries, numerous inseminations, hormone treatments, and four years of poking and prodding by doctors. Yet, people still continued to say things like, “If you just relaxed on a cruise . . .” Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem that must be treated by a doctor, and even with treatment, many couples will NEVER successfully conceive a child. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility.
Don’t Minimize the Problem
Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone’s life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy. Comments like, “Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.,” do not offer comfort.
Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn’t tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father’s Day or Mother’s Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn’t even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.
Don’t Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen
Along the same lines, don’t tell your friend that there are worse things that she could be going through. Who is the final authority on what is the “worst” thing that could happen to someone? Is it going through a divorce? Watching a loved one die? Getting raped? Losing a job?Different people react to different life experiences in different ways. To someone who has trained his whole life for the Olympics, the “worst” thing might be experiencing an injury the week before the event. To someone who has walked away from her career to become a stay-at-home wife for 40 years, watching her husband leave her for a younger woman might be the “worst” thing. And, to a woman whose sole goal in life has been to love and nurture a child, infertility may indeed be the “worst” thing that could happen.
People wouldn’t dream of telling someone whose parent just died, “It could be worse: both of your parents could be dead.” Such a comment would be considered cruel rather than comforting. In the same vein, don’t tell your friend that she could be going through worse things than infertility.
Don’t Say They Aren’t Meant to Be Parents
One of the cruelest things anyone ever said to me is, “Maybe God doesn’t intend for you to be a mother.” How incredibly insensitive to imply that I would be such a bad mother that God felt the need to divinely sterilize me. If God were in the business of divinely sterilizing women, don’t you think he would prevent the pregnancies that end in abortions? Or wouldn’t he sterilize the women who wind up neglecting and abusing their children? Even if you aren’t religious, the “maybe it’s not meant to be” comments are not comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature.
Don’t Ask Why They Aren’t Trying IVF
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a method in which the woman harvests multiple eggs, which are then combined with the man’s sperm in a petri dish. This is the method that can produce multiple births. People frequently ask, “Why don’t you just try IVF?” in the same casual tone they would use to ask, “Why don’t you try shopping at another store?”There are many reasons why a couple would choose not to pursue this option. Here are a few of them.
IVF is Expensive with Low Odds
One cycle of IVF is very expensive. With all of the hype in the news, many people assume that IVF is a sure thing when, in fact, the odds of success for each cycle are low. Most couples cannot afford to try for one month, much less for multiple times. Considering that it also costs a significant amount of money to adopt a baby, many couples opt for the “sure thing” rather then risking their money on much lower odds.
IVF is Physically Taxing
Undergoing IVF treatments is very rigorous. The woman must inject shots into her thigh daily to cause her ovaries to superovulate. The drugs used are very taxing on the woman, and they can cause her to be become extremely emotional.
IVF Raises Ethical Issues
Ironically, couples who undergo IVF to become parents may have to selectively abort one or more fetuses if multiple eggs are fertilized. Many couples cannot bring themselves to abort a baby when they have worked so hard to become parents. If the couple chooses not to selectively abort, they run the risk of multiple births.
Don’t Offer Unsolicited Opinions
If They Are Trying IVF On the flip side of the coin, don’t offer unsolicited advice to your friends who do choose to try IVF. For many couples, IVF is the only way they will ever give birth to a baby. This is a huge decision for them to make, for all of the reasons I outlined above.If the couple has resolved any ethical issues, don’t muddy the waters.
IVF is a gray area in many ethical circles, and many of our moral leaders don’t yet know how to answer the ethical questions that have arisen from this new technology. If the couple has resolved these issues already, you only make it harder by raising the ethical questions again. Respect their decision, and offer your support. If you can’t offer your support due to ethical differences of opinion, then say nothing.
A couple who chooses the IVF route has a hard, expensive road ahead, and they need your support more than ever. The hormones are no cakewalk, and the financial cost is enormous. Your friend would not be going this route if there were an easier way, and the fact that she is willing to endure so much is further proof of how much she truly wants to parent a child. The hormones will make her more emotional, so offer her your support and keep your questions to yourself.
Don’t Play Doctor
Once your infertile friends are under a doctor’s care, the doctor will run them through numerous tests to determine why they aren’t able to conceive. There a numerous reasons that a couple may not be able to conceive.
Here are a few of them:
Blocked fallopian tubes
Cysts
PCOS
Endometriosis
Low hormone levels
Low “normal form” sperm count
Low progesterone level
Low sperm count
Low sperm motility
Thin uterine walls
Infertility is a complicated problem to diagnose, and reading an article or book on infertility will not make you an “expert” on the subject. Let your friends work with their doctor to diagnose and treat the problem. Your friends probably already know more about the causes and solutions of infertility than you will ever know.
You may feel like you are being helpful by reading up on infertility, and there is nothing wrong with learning more about the subject. The problem comes when you try to “play doctor” with your friends. They already have a doctor with years of experience in diagnosing and treating the problem. They need to work with and trust their doctor to treat the problem. You only complicate the issue when you throw out other ideas that you have read about. The doctor knows more about the causes and solutions; let your friends work with their doctor to solve the problem.
Don’t Be Crude
It is appalling that I even have to include this paragraph, but some of you need to hear this-Don’t make crude jokes about your friend’s vulnerable position. Crude comments like “I’ll donate the sperm” or “Make sure the doctor uses your sperm for the insemination” are not funny, and they only irritate your friends.
Don’t Complain About Your Pregnancy
This message is for pregnant women-Just being around you is painful for your infertile friends. Seeing your belly grow is a constant reminder of what your infertile friend cannot have. Unless an infertile women plans to spend her life in a cave, she has to find a way to interact with pregnant women. However, there are things you can do as her friend to make it easier.
The number one rule is DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY. I understand from my friends that, when you are pregnant, your hormones are going crazy and you experience a lot of discomfort, such as queasiness, stretch marks, and fatigue. You have every right to vent about the discomforts to any one else in your life, but don’t put your infertile friend in the position of comforting you.
Your infertile friend would give anything to experience the discomforts you are enduring because those discomforts come from a baby growing inside of you. When I heard a pregnant woman complain about morning sickness, I would think, “I’d gladly throw up for nine straight months if it meant I could have a baby.” When a pregnant woman would complain about her weight gain, I would think, “I would cut off my arm if I could be in your shoes.”
I managed to go to baby showers and hospitals to welcome my friends’ new babies, but it was hard. Without exception, it was hard. Stay sensitive to your infertile friend’s emotions, and give her the leeway that she needs to be happy for you while she cries for herself. If she can’t bring herself to hold your new baby, give her time. She isn’t rejecting you or your new baby; she is just trying to work her way through her pain to show sincere joy for you. The fact that she is willing to endure such pain in order to celebrate your new baby with you speaks volumes about how much your friendship means to her.
[The malay version, stop saying things like “Nah Pegang la baby ni.. ambik berkat sket..” That was actually not comforting too. By just “holding” the baby doesn’t make sense of Berkat by logic. If that so, I would probably have been pregnant 3 times in a row, or more, cause I’ve been holding lotsof babies ever since everyone told me to ‘ambik berkat’ I like to hold babies, because I want to, not that I meant to hope that I will get the ‘berkat’”]
Don’t Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant
For some reason, some people seem to think that infertility causes a person to become unrealistic about the responsibilities of parenthood. I don’t follow the logic, but several people told me that I wouldn’t ache for a baby so much if I appreciated how much responsibility was involved in parenting.
Let’s face it- no one can fully appreciate the responsibilities involved in parenting until they are, themselves, parents. That is true whether you successfully conceived after one month or after 10 years. The length of time you spend waiting for that baby does not factor in to your appreciation of responsibility. If anything, people who have been trying to become pregnant longer have had more time to think about those responsibilities. They have also probably been around lots of babies as their friends started their families.
Perhaps part of what fuels this perception is that infertile couples have a longer time to “dream” about what being a parent will be like. Like every other couple, we have our fantasies-my child will sleep through the night, would never have a tantrum in public, and will always eat his vegetables. Let us have our fantasies. Those fantasies are some of the few parent-to-be perks that we have-let us have them. You can give us your knowing looks when we discover the truth later.
Don’t Gossip About Your Friend’s Condition
Infertility treatments are very private and embarrassing, which is why many couples choose to undergo these treatments in secret. Men especially are very sensitive to letting people know about infertility testing, such as sperm counts. Gossiping about infertility is not usually done in a malicious manner. The gossipers are usually well-meaning people who are only trying to find out more about infertility so they can help their loved ones.
Regardless of why you are sharing this information with someone else, it hurts and embarrasses your friend to find out that Madge the bank teller knows what your husband’s sperm count is and when your next period is expected. Infertility is something that should be kept as private as your friend wants to keep it. Respect your friend’s privacy, and don’t share any information that your friend hasn’t authorized.
Don’t Push Adoption (Yet)
Adoption is a wonderful way for infertile people to become parents. (As an adoptive parent, I can fully vouch for this!!) However, the couple needs to work through many issues before they will be ready to make an adoption decision. Before they can make the decision to love a “stranger’s baby,” they must first grieve the loss of that baby with Daddy’s eyes and Mommy’s nose.
Adoption social workers recognize the importance of the grieving process. When my husband and I went for our initial adoption interview, we expected the first question to be, “Why do you want to adopt a baby?” Instead, the question was, “Have you grieved the loss of your biological child yet?” Our social worker emphasized how important it is to shut one door before you open another.
You do, indeed, need to grieve this loss before you are ready to start the adoption process. The adoption process is very long and expensive, and it is not an easy road. So, the couple needs to be very sure that they can let go of the hope of a biological child and that they can love an adopted baby. This takes time, and some couples are never able to reach this point. If your friend cannot love a baby that isn’t her “own,” then adoption isn’t the right decision for her, and it is certainly not what is best for the baby.
Mentioning adoption in passing can be a comfort to some couples. (The only words that ever offered me comfort were from my sister, who said, “Whether through pregnancy or adoption, you will be a mother one day.”) However, “pushing” the issue can frustrate your friend. So, mention the idea in passing if it seems appropriate, and then drop it. When your friend is ready to talk about adoption, she will raise the issue.
So, what can you say to your infertile friends? Unless you say “I am giving you this baby,” there is nothing you can say that will erase their pain. So, take that pressure off of yourself. It isn’t your job to erase their pain, but there is a lot you can do to lesson the load. Here are a few ideas.
Let Them Know That You Care
The best thing you can do is let your infertile friends know that you care. Send them cards. Let them cry on your shoulder. If they are religious, let them know you are praying for them. Offer the same support you would offer a friend who has lost a loved one. Just knowing they can count on you to be there for them lightens the load and lets them know that they aren’t going through this alone.
Remember Them on Mother’s Day
With all of the activity on Mother’s Day, people tend to forget about women who cannot become mothers. Mother’s Day is an incredibly painful time for infertile women. You cannot get away from it-There are ads on the TV, posters at the stores, church sermons devoted to celebrating motherhood, and all of the plans for celebrating with your own mother and mother-in-law.
Mother’s Day is an important celebration and one that I relish now that I am a mother. However, it was very painful while I was waiting for my baby. Remember your infertile friends on Mother’s Day, and send them a card to let them know you are thinking of them. They will appreciate knowing that you haven’t “forgotten” them.
Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments
No couple can endure infertility treatments forever. At some point, they will stop. This is an agonizing decision to make, and it involves even more grief. Even if the couple chooses to adopt a baby, they must still first grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy’s nose and daddy’s eyes.
Once the couple has made the decision to stop treatments, support their decision. Don’t encourage them to try again, and don’t discourage them from adopting, if that is their choice. Once the couple has reached resolution (whether to live without children, adopt a child, or become foster parents), they can finally put that chapter of their lives behind them. Don’t try to open that chapter again.
(Thanks to 'Miracle in the Making' for posting this! Make sure to visit her at her blog!) http://ttcbabyblog.blogspot.com/
By Vita Alligood
Chances are, you know someone who is struggling with infertility. More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. Yet, as a society, we are woefully uninformed about how to best provide emotional support for our loved ones during this painful time.
Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn’t coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.
The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy’s nose and daddy’s eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.
As the couple moves into infertility treatments, the pain increases while the bank account depletes. Most infertility treatments involve using hormones, which alter the user’s moods. (That statement is like calling a lion a cat-my husband would tell you that the side effect is insanity!) The tests are invasive and embarrassing to both parties, and you feel like the doctor has taken over your bedroom. And for all of this discomfort, you pay a lot of money. Infertility treatments are expensive, and most insurance companies do not cover the costs. So, in addition to the pain of not conceiving a baby each month, the couple pays out anywhere from $300 to five figures (10's of thousands of dollars), depending upon the treatment used.
A couple will eventually resolve the infertility problem in one of three ways:
They will eventually conceive a baby.
They will stop the infertility treatments and choose to live without children.
They will find an alternative way to parent, such as by adopting a child or becoming a foster parent.
Reaching a resolution can take years, so your infertile loved ones need your emotional support during this journey. Most people don’t know what to say, so they wind up saying the wrong thing, which only makes the journey so much harder for their loved ones. Knowing what not to say is half of the battle to providing support.
Don’t Tell Them to Relax
Everyone knows someone who had trouble conceiving but then finally became pregnant once she “relaxed.” Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of “relaxing” are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as “infertile” until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year. In fact, most infertility specialists will not treat a couple for infertility until they have tried to become pregnant for a year.
This year weeds out the people who aren’t infertile but just need to “relax.” Those that remain are truly infertile. Comments such as “just relax” or “try going on a cruise” create even more stress for the infertile couple, particularly the woman. The woman feels like she is doing something wrong when, in fact, there is a good chance that there is a physical problem preventing her from becoming pregnant.
These comments can also reach the point of absurdity. As a couple, my husband and I underwent two surgeries, numerous inseminations, hormone treatments, and four years of poking and prodding by doctors. Yet, people still continued to say things like, “If you just relaxed on a cruise . . .” Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem that must be treated by a doctor, and even with treatment, many couples will NEVER successfully conceive a child. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility.
Don’t Minimize the Problem
Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone’s life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy. Comments like, “Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.,” do not offer comfort.
Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn’t tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father’s Day or Mother’s Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn’t even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.
Don’t Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen
Along the same lines, don’t tell your friend that there are worse things that she could be going through. Who is the final authority on what is the “worst” thing that could happen to someone? Is it going through a divorce? Watching a loved one die? Getting raped? Losing a job?Different people react to different life experiences in different ways. To someone who has trained his whole life for the Olympics, the “worst” thing might be experiencing an injury the week before the event. To someone who has walked away from her career to become a stay-at-home wife for 40 years, watching her husband leave her for a younger woman might be the “worst” thing. And, to a woman whose sole goal in life has been to love and nurture a child, infertility may indeed be the “worst” thing that could happen.
People wouldn’t dream of telling someone whose parent just died, “It could be worse: both of your parents could be dead.” Such a comment would be considered cruel rather than comforting. In the same vein, don’t tell your friend that she could be going through worse things than infertility.
Don’t Say They Aren’t Meant to Be Parents
One of the cruelest things anyone ever said to me is, “Maybe God doesn’t intend for you to be a mother.” How incredibly insensitive to imply that I would be such a bad mother that God felt the need to divinely sterilize me. If God were in the business of divinely sterilizing women, don’t you think he would prevent the pregnancies that end in abortions? Or wouldn’t he sterilize the women who wind up neglecting and abusing their children? Even if you aren’t religious, the “maybe it’s not meant to be” comments are not comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature.
Don’t Ask Why They Aren’t Trying IVF
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a method in which the woman harvests multiple eggs, which are then combined with the man’s sperm in a petri dish. This is the method that can produce multiple births. People frequently ask, “Why don’t you just try IVF?” in the same casual tone they would use to ask, “Why don’t you try shopping at another store?”There are many reasons why a couple would choose not to pursue this option. Here are a few of them.
IVF is Expensive with Low Odds
One cycle of IVF is very expensive. With all of the hype in the news, many people assume that IVF is a sure thing when, in fact, the odds of success for each cycle are low. Most couples cannot afford to try for one month, much less for multiple times. Considering that it also costs a significant amount of money to adopt a baby, many couples opt for the “sure thing” rather then risking their money on much lower odds.
IVF is Physically Taxing
Undergoing IVF treatments is very rigorous. The woman must inject shots into her thigh daily to cause her ovaries to superovulate. The drugs used are very taxing on the woman, and they can cause her to be become extremely emotional.
IVF Raises Ethical Issues
Ironically, couples who undergo IVF to become parents may have to selectively abort one or more fetuses if multiple eggs are fertilized. Many couples cannot bring themselves to abort a baby when they have worked so hard to become parents. If the couple chooses not to selectively abort, they run the risk of multiple births.
Don’t Offer Unsolicited Opinions
If They Are Trying IVF On the flip side of the coin, don’t offer unsolicited advice to your friends who do choose to try IVF. For many couples, IVF is the only way they will ever give birth to a baby. This is a huge decision for them to make, for all of the reasons I outlined above.If the couple has resolved any ethical issues, don’t muddy the waters.
IVF is a gray area in many ethical circles, and many of our moral leaders don’t yet know how to answer the ethical questions that have arisen from this new technology. If the couple has resolved these issues already, you only make it harder by raising the ethical questions again. Respect their decision, and offer your support. If you can’t offer your support due to ethical differences of opinion, then say nothing.
A couple who chooses the IVF route has a hard, expensive road ahead, and they need your support more than ever. The hormones are no cakewalk, and the financial cost is enormous. Your friend would not be going this route if there were an easier way, and the fact that she is willing to endure so much is further proof of how much she truly wants to parent a child. The hormones will make her more emotional, so offer her your support and keep your questions to yourself.
Don’t Play Doctor
Once your infertile friends are under a doctor’s care, the doctor will run them through numerous tests to determine why they aren’t able to conceive. There a numerous reasons that a couple may not be able to conceive.
Here are a few of them:
Blocked fallopian tubes
Cysts
PCOS
Endometriosis
Low hormone levels
Low “normal form” sperm count
Low progesterone level
Low sperm count
Low sperm motility
Thin uterine walls
Infertility is a complicated problem to diagnose, and reading an article or book on infertility will not make you an “expert” on the subject. Let your friends work with their doctor to diagnose and treat the problem. Your friends probably already know more about the causes and solutions of infertility than you will ever know.
You may feel like you are being helpful by reading up on infertility, and there is nothing wrong with learning more about the subject. The problem comes when you try to “play doctor” with your friends. They already have a doctor with years of experience in diagnosing and treating the problem. They need to work with and trust their doctor to treat the problem. You only complicate the issue when you throw out other ideas that you have read about. The doctor knows more about the causes and solutions; let your friends work with their doctor to solve the problem.
Don’t Be Crude
It is appalling that I even have to include this paragraph, but some of you need to hear this-Don’t make crude jokes about your friend’s vulnerable position. Crude comments like “I’ll donate the sperm” or “Make sure the doctor uses your sperm for the insemination” are not funny, and they only irritate your friends.
Don’t Complain About Your Pregnancy
This message is for pregnant women-Just being around you is painful for your infertile friends. Seeing your belly grow is a constant reminder of what your infertile friend cannot have. Unless an infertile women plans to spend her life in a cave, she has to find a way to interact with pregnant women. However, there are things you can do as her friend to make it easier.
The number one rule is DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY. I understand from my friends that, when you are pregnant, your hormones are going crazy and you experience a lot of discomfort, such as queasiness, stretch marks, and fatigue. You have every right to vent about the discomforts to any one else in your life, but don’t put your infertile friend in the position of comforting you.
Your infertile friend would give anything to experience the discomforts you are enduring because those discomforts come from a baby growing inside of you. When I heard a pregnant woman complain about morning sickness, I would think, “I’d gladly throw up for nine straight months if it meant I could have a baby.” When a pregnant woman would complain about her weight gain, I would think, “I would cut off my arm if I could be in your shoes.”
I managed to go to baby showers and hospitals to welcome my friends’ new babies, but it was hard. Without exception, it was hard. Stay sensitive to your infertile friend’s emotions, and give her the leeway that she needs to be happy for you while she cries for herself. If she can’t bring herself to hold your new baby, give her time. She isn’t rejecting you or your new baby; she is just trying to work her way through her pain to show sincere joy for you. The fact that she is willing to endure such pain in order to celebrate your new baby with you speaks volumes about how much your friendship means to her.
[The malay version, stop saying things like “Nah Pegang la baby ni.. ambik berkat sket..” That was actually not comforting too. By just “holding” the baby doesn’t make sense of Berkat by logic. If that so, I would probably have been pregnant 3 times in a row, or more, cause I’ve been holding lotsof babies ever since everyone told me to ‘ambik berkat’ I like to hold babies, because I want to, not that I meant to hope that I will get the ‘berkat’”]
Don’t Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant
For some reason, some people seem to think that infertility causes a person to become unrealistic about the responsibilities of parenthood. I don’t follow the logic, but several people told me that I wouldn’t ache for a baby so much if I appreciated how much responsibility was involved in parenting.
Let’s face it- no one can fully appreciate the responsibilities involved in parenting until they are, themselves, parents. That is true whether you successfully conceived after one month or after 10 years. The length of time you spend waiting for that baby does not factor in to your appreciation of responsibility. If anything, people who have been trying to become pregnant longer have had more time to think about those responsibilities. They have also probably been around lots of babies as their friends started their families.
Perhaps part of what fuels this perception is that infertile couples have a longer time to “dream” about what being a parent will be like. Like every other couple, we have our fantasies-my child will sleep through the night, would never have a tantrum in public, and will always eat his vegetables. Let us have our fantasies. Those fantasies are some of the few parent-to-be perks that we have-let us have them. You can give us your knowing looks when we discover the truth later.
Don’t Gossip About Your Friend’s Condition
Infertility treatments are very private and embarrassing, which is why many couples choose to undergo these treatments in secret. Men especially are very sensitive to letting people know about infertility testing, such as sperm counts. Gossiping about infertility is not usually done in a malicious manner. The gossipers are usually well-meaning people who are only trying to find out more about infertility so they can help their loved ones.
Regardless of why you are sharing this information with someone else, it hurts and embarrasses your friend to find out that Madge the bank teller knows what your husband’s sperm count is and when your next period is expected. Infertility is something that should be kept as private as your friend wants to keep it. Respect your friend’s privacy, and don’t share any information that your friend hasn’t authorized.
Don’t Push Adoption (Yet)
Adoption is a wonderful way for infertile people to become parents. (As an adoptive parent, I can fully vouch for this!!) However, the couple needs to work through many issues before they will be ready to make an adoption decision. Before they can make the decision to love a “stranger’s baby,” they must first grieve the loss of that baby with Daddy’s eyes and Mommy’s nose.
Adoption social workers recognize the importance of the grieving process. When my husband and I went for our initial adoption interview, we expected the first question to be, “Why do you want to adopt a baby?” Instead, the question was, “Have you grieved the loss of your biological child yet?” Our social worker emphasized how important it is to shut one door before you open another.
You do, indeed, need to grieve this loss before you are ready to start the adoption process. The adoption process is very long and expensive, and it is not an easy road. So, the couple needs to be very sure that they can let go of the hope of a biological child and that they can love an adopted baby. This takes time, and some couples are never able to reach this point. If your friend cannot love a baby that isn’t her “own,” then adoption isn’t the right decision for her, and it is certainly not what is best for the baby.
Mentioning adoption in passing can be a comfort to some couples. (The only words that ever offered me comfort were from my sister, who said, “Whether through pregnancy or adoption, you will be a mother one day.”) However, “pushing” the issue can frustrate your friend. So, mention the idea in passing if it seems appropriate, and then drop it. When your friend is ready to talk about adoption, she will raise the issue.
So, what can you say to your infertile friends? Unless you say “I am giving you this baby,” there is nothing you can say that will erase their pain. So, take that pressure off of yourself. It isn’t your job to erase their pain, but there is a lot you can do to lesson the load. Here are a few ideas.
Let Them Know That You Care
The best thing you can do is let your infertile friends know that you care. Send them cards. Let them cry on your shoulder. If they are religious, let them know you are praying for them. Offer the same support you would offer a friend who has lost a loved one. Just knowing they can count on you to be there for them lightens the load and lets them know that they aren’t going through this alone.
Remember Them on Mother’s Day
With all of the activity on Mother’s Day, people tend to forget about women who cannot become mothers. Mother’s Day is an incredibly painful time for infertile women. You cannot get away from it-There are ads on the TV, posters at the stores, church sermons devoted to celebrating motherhood, and all of the plans for celebrating with your own mother and mother-in-law.
Mother’s Day is an important celebration and one that I relish now that I am a mother. However, it was very painful while I was waiting for my baby. Remember your infertile friends on Mother’s Day, and send them a card to let them know you are thinking of them. They will appreciate knowing that you haven’t “forgotten” them.
Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments
No couple can endure infertility treatments forever. At some point, they will stop. This is an agonizing decision to make, and it involves even more grief. Even if the couple chooses to adopt a baby, they must still first grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy’s nose and daddy’s eyes.
Once the couple has made the decision to stop treatments, support their decision. Don’t encourage them to try again, and don’t discourage them from adopting, if that is their choice. Once the couple has reached resolution (whether to live without children, adopt a child, or become foster parents), they can finally put that chapter of their lives behind them. Don’t try to open that chapter again.
August 18, 2011
Wasiat Rasullulah kepada Saidina Ali
Kali ni nak share wasiat Rasulullah saw kpd Saidina Ali pada malam dia nak nikah. Mari baca, sebab ada diantara info ini yang kita tidak tahu lansung, or anggap benda ni mcm 'kata org tua2' je. aku pon baru tau, jadi aku nak share dgn korang.
Taken from http://jalanakhirat.wordpress.com/2010/12/30/jimak-dan-wasiat-rasulullah-saw/
Filed under: Uncategorized — jalanakhirat @ 1:29 am
“Telah menceritakan kepada kami oleh ‘Amru bin Hafsah dan Abu Naar dari Muhammad bin Al-Haitham dari Ishak bin Hanjih, dari Husaif dari Mujahid daripada Al-Khudri yang berkata : “Rasulullah s.a.w. telah berwasiat kepada Saidina Ali bin Abi Talib r.a di mana baginda telah bersabda :
1. “Wahai Ali, bila pengantin perempuan masuk ke dalam rumahmu, maka (suruh ia) tanggalkan kasutnya ketika ia duduk dan (suruh ia) membasuh kedua-dua kakinya. Maka sesungguhnya apabila kamu berbuat demikian Allah mengeluarkan tujuh puluh ( 70 ) jenis kefaqiran dari rumah kamu, dan Allah s.w.t. menurunkan tujuh puluh ( 70 ) rahmat yang sentiasa menaungi di atas kepala pengantin sehingga sentiasa keberkatan itu meratai setiap penjuru rumahmu dan pengantin itu sejahtera da! ri penyakit gila, sawan (gila b**i) dan sopak selama mana ia berada di dalam rumah tersebut. Laranglah pengantin itu daripada memakan dan meminum empat ( 4 ) jenis makanan ini pada minggu pertama perkahwinan iaitu :
1. Susu
2. Cuka
3. Coriander (Ketumbar)
4. Apple Masam”
Saidina Ali r.a bertanya :
“Wahai Rasulullah, mengapakah empat jenis makanan ini di larang..?”
Baginda menjawab :
“Kerana rahim perempuan itu kering dan sejuk, dengan sebab dari empat perkara (makanan) ini untuk menghalang dari dapat anak. Sesungguhnya tikar di penjuru rumah adalah lebih baik daripada perempuan yang tidak dapat anak.” - Ya Allah, TIKAR di penjuru rumah adalah lebih baik daripada perempuan yang tidak dapat anak. Sedihnya statement ini. :-|
Saidina Ali r.a bertanya :
“Wahai rasulullah, mengapakah cuka itu di larang..? (semasa haid dan semasa minggu pertama perkahwinan) .”
Baginda menjawab :
“Apabila ia minum cuka semasa haid, sesungguhnya haidnya itu tidak akan bersih selama-lamanya secara sempurna.
Mengenai Coriander (ketumbar) ia mengganggu haid di dalam perutnya dan menyukarkan kepadanya kelahiran.
Tentang Apple masam, ia memotong haid sebelum masanya maka menjadikan haid itu berlalu begitu saja dengan sebabnya.”
2. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah engkau berjima’ dengan isterimu pada awal (hari pertama) bulan, pada pertengahannya (sehari) dan pada akhir (dua hari) di hujung bulan. Maka sesungguhnya penyakit gila, gila b**i dan sopak mudah mengenainya dan anaknya.”
3. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan isterimu selepas zohor, sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak kerana jima’ pada waktu itu, maka ia akan bermata juling dan syaitan sangat suka kepada manusia yang bermata juling.”
4. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah bercakap-cakap semasa jima’, sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak dengan jima’ yang demikian, maka anak itu tidak selamat daripada bisu.”
5. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah lihat kepada faraj perempuanmu dan jagalah pandanganmu sewaktu berjima’, (jika tidak) sesungguhnya mewarisi buta – iaitu anak.”
6. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan perempuanmu dengan syahwat terhadap perempuan lain, maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepadamu berdua anak, anak itu akan menjadi pondan yang bersifat benci dan hina.”
7. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjunub di tempat tidur, janganlah membaca Al-Quran, maka sesungguhnya aku bimbang akan turun kepada kamu berdua api (bala) dari langit yang membakar kamu berdua.”
8. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan isterimu kecuali ada padamu satu tuala dan pada isterimu satu tuala.”
9. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berdua menyapu dengan menggunakan satu tuala, nanti akan jatuh syahwat keatas syahwat (salah seorang akan kuat syahwatnya daripada yang lagi satu), maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu akan mengakibatkan permusuhan kemudian membawa kamu berdua kepada berpecah dan talak.”
10. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu secara berdiri, maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu daripada perbuatan kaldai, jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, maka anak itu sentiasa kencing di tempat tidur seperti kaldai yang suka kencing di merata-rata tempat.”
11. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam ‘Aidil Fitri (Raya Puasa), maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak anak itu seorang yang cacat dan tidak mendapat anak baginya kecuali sudah tua.”
12. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam ‘Aidil Adha, maka sesungguhnya jika kamu berdua berjima’ pada malam tersebut, apabila Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak aku bimbang ia akan menjadi seorang yang berjari enam atau empat.”
13. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu di bawah cahaya matahari (secara langsung – direct) dan terkena warna (cahayanya), kecuali kamu mengenakan tutupan (bumbung), jika tidak maka sesungguhnya kalau Allah mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti anak itu akan menjadi seorang sentiasa hidup dalam meminta-minta dan faqir sehingga mati.”
14. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu di bawah pohon kayu yang berbuah, maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kamu berdua anak, nanti anak itu akan menjadi seorang tukang gojo, tukang sebat atau seorang ketua yang bengis,”
15. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu sewaktu antara azan dan iqomah, jika berjima’ pada waktu demikian, sesungguhnya jika Allah mengurniakan anak pada kamu berdua, nanti ia menjadi seorang yang menumpahkan darah.”
16. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu semasa ia hamil kecuali kamu berdua berwudhu’, jika tidak maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kamu berdua anak, nanti ia akan menjadi seorang yang buta hati dan bakhil tangan.”
17. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada pertengahan (Nisfu) Sya’ban, maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kamu berdua anak,nanti anak itu akan mempunyai tanda yang jelek pada muka dan rambutnya.”
18. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada akhir bulan (yakni tinggal dua hari) maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak nanti anak tersebut menjadi seorang yang sentiasa perlu meminta-minta. “
19. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu dengan syahwat terhadap saudara perempuannya ! (ipar kamu) kerana yang demikian itu sesungguhnya kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti anak itu akan menjadi penolong dan pembantu kepada orang yang zalim dan pada tangannya membuat kebinasaan kepada manusia.”
20. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu di atas loteng maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan anak kepada kamu berdua nanti anak itu menjadi seorang munafiq, pelampau yang melewati batas.”
21. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam kamu hendak keluar musafir kerana yang demikian itu sesungguhnya kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, ia akan membelanjakan harta kepada yang tidak Haq,” dan Rasulullah s.a.w. membaca ayat Al-Quran : “Innal Mubazziriina kaanu – ikhwan Nas – Syayathin.”
22. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu bila kamu keluar bermusafir dalam tempoh tiga hari tiga malam, maka yang demikian itu sesungguhnya bil! a Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti ia menjadi seorang pembantu kepada setiap orang yang zalim.”
23. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada awal malam, maka sesungguhnya jika dikurniakan anak kepada kamu berdua, ia menjadi seorang tukang sihir, sunglap, dan menghendaki dunia daripada akhirat.”
24. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu bacalah : “Allahumma Jannibnis Syaitan Wajanibis Syaitan Mimma Rozaktani.” Maka yang demikian itu kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu anak, tidak dimudaratkan oleh syaitan terhadapnya selama-lamanya. “
25. “Wahai Ali..! hendaklah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Isnin maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, ia akan menjadi seorang yang berpegang teguh kepada kitab Allah (Al-Quran) dan redha terhadap segala pemberian Allah s.w.t. (baik d! an buruk Qada’ dan Qadar Allah).”
26. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Selasa, Allah s.w.t. akan memberi kepada kamu berdua anak yang mendapat nikmat Mati Syahid sesudah syahadah : ‘Anla ilahaillallah wa anna Muhammada ar-Rasulullah’ dan Allah s.w.t. tidak azabkannya (turun bala kepadanya) bersama-sama orang musyrikin, mulutnya berbau harum yang akan melembutkan hati orang, bersih lidahnya daripada mengumpat, berdusta dan mengadu-domba. “
27. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu malam Khamis, maka Allah s.w.t. akan mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak yang bijaksana, atau seorang yang alim,di kalangan orang-orang yang alim.”
28. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu sewaktu matahari di tengah langit, Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua seorang anak yang tidak di hampiri syaitan sehingga ia beruban (tua) dan menjadi seorang yang faqih serta Allah s.w.t. rezekikan kepadanya keselamatan agama dan dunia.”
29. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Jumaat dan nanti anak kamu berdua adalah seorang pemidato yang berwibawa dan petah.”
30. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada hari Jumaat, selepas Asar, Allah s.w.t. akan kurniakan seorang anak yang terkenal, masyhor dan alim.”
31. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Jumaat selepas Isyak yang akhir, maka sesungguhnya di harapkan anakmu nanti menjadi seorang yang abdal (terkemuka),
-----------------
Demikian wasiat Rasulullah SAW kpd Saidina Ali.
aku pun taktau lansung bab yg ni:
21. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam kamu hendak keluar musafir kerana yang demikian itu sesungguhnya kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, ia akan membelanjakan harta kepada yang tidak Haq,” dan Rasulullah s.a.w. membaca ayat Al-Quran : “Innal Mubazziriina kaanu – ikhwan Nas – Syayathin.”
22. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu bila kamu keluar bermusafir dalam tempoh tiga hari tiga malam, maka yang demikian itu sesungguhnya bila Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti ia menjadi seorang pembantu kepada setiap orang yang zalim.”
Aku bersyukur sebab Allah takjadikan janin yang mase aku gi Australia thn lepas. kononnya lepas hCG trigger, aku ovulate waktu aku sebelom nak gi Goldcoast tu. so timed intercourse tu ialah a few hours before pegi goldcoast. Rupanya dilarang oleh rasulullah, kalau jadi anak tu, maka jadi lah anak yang akan membelanjakan harta kpd yg tidak Haq, atau menjadi pembantu kpd setiap org yg zalim.
Memang, kalau kite taktau, dan kalau aku ditakdirkan pregnant mase tu, aku masih mampu berdoa supaya anak aku tidak akan jadi camtu,..semua ni adalah kuasa Allah, tapi kita sbg manusia harus berusaha..kali ni aku dah tau jadi Alhamdulillah, lepas ni aku boleh elak.
Jadi bagaimana dgn honeymoon? aku tanye laki aku, sbenanye takde istilah 'honeymoon' dalam islam. Jadi kalau betol nak plan buat anak mase honeymoon, dia kate kat atas ni 3hari 3 malam berturut2 kan..so 3hari tu gi la shopping ke ape2 dulu..hehehe, lepas 3hari baru la ON kot....laki aku ckp "ha pandai2 la fikir"
Taken from http://jalanakhirat.wordpress.com/2010/12/30/jimak-dan-wasiat-rasulullah-saw/
Jimak dan Wasiat Rasulullah saw
Filed under: Uncategorized — jalanakhirat @ 1:29 am
“Telah menceritakan kepada kami oleh ‘Amru bin Hafsah dan Abu Naar dari Muhammad bin Al-Haitham dari Ishak bin Hanjih, dari Husaif dari Mujahid daripada Al-Khudri yang berkata : “Rasulullah s.a.w. telah berwasiat kepada Saidina Ali bin Abi Talib r.a di mana baginda telah bersabda :
1. “Wahai Ali, bila pengantin perempuan masuk ke dalam rumahmu, maka (suruh ia) tanggalkan kasutnya ketika ia duduk dan (suruh ia) membasuh kedua-dua kakinya. Maka sesungguhnya apabila kamu berbuat demikian Allah mengeluarkan tujuh puluh ( 70 ) jenis kefaqiran dari rumah kamu, dan Allah s.w.t. menurunkan tujuh puluh ( 70 ) rahmat yang sentiasa menaungi di atas kepala pengantin sehingga sentiasa keberkatan itu meratai setiap penjuru rumahmu dan pengantin itu sejahtera da! ri penyakit gila, sawan (gila b**i) dan sopak selama mana ia berada di dalam rumah tersebut. Laranglah pengantin itu daripada memakan dan meminum empat ( 4 ) jenis makanan ini pada minggu pertama perkahwinan iaitu :
1. Susu
2. Cuka
3. Coriander (Ketumbar)
4. Apple Masam”
Saidina Ali r.a bertanya :
“Wahai Rasulullah, mengapakah empat jenis makanan ini di larang..?”
Baginda menjawab :
“Kerana rahim perempuan itu kering dan sejuk, dengan sebab dari empat perkara (makanan) ini untuk menghalang dari dapat anak. Sesungguhnya tikar di penjuru rumah adalah lebih baik daripada perempuan yang tidak dapat anak.” - Ya Allah, TIKAR di penjuru rumah adalah lebih baik daripada perempuan yang tidak dapat anak. Sedihnya statement ini. :-|
Saidina Ali r.a bertanya :
“Wahai rasulullah, mengapakah cuka itu di larang..? (semasa haid dan semasa minggu pertama perkahwinan) .”
Baginda menjawab :
“Apabila ia minum cuka semasa haid, sesungguhnya haidnya itu tidak akan bersih selama-lamanya secara sempurna.
Mengenai Coriander (ketumbar) ia mengganggu haid di dalam perutnya dan menyukarkan kepadanya kelahiran.
Tentang Apple masam, ia memotong haid sebelum masanya maka menjadikan haid itu berlalu begitu saja dengan sebabnya.”
2. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah engkau berjima’ dengan isterimu pada awal (hari pertama) bulan, pada pertengahannya (sehari) dan pada akhir (dua hari) di hujung bulan. Maka sesungguhnya penyakit gila, gila b**i dan sopak mudah mengenainya dan anaknya.”
3. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan isterimu selepas zohor, sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak kerana jima’ pada waktu itu, maka ia akan bermata juling dan syaitan sangat suka kepada manusia yang bermata juling.”
4. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah bercakap-cakap semasa jima’, sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak dengan jima’ yang demikian, maka anak itu tidak selamat daripada bisu.”
5. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah lihat kepada faraj perempuanmu dan jagalah pandanganmu sewaktu berjima’, (jika tidak) sesungguhnya mewarisi buta – iaitu anak.”
6. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan perempuanmu dengan syahwat terhadap perempuan lain, maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepadamu berdua anak, anak itu akan menjadi pondan yang bersifat benci dan hina.”
7. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjunub di tempat tidur, janganlah membaca Al-Quran, maka sesungguhnya aku bimbang akan turun kepada kamu berdua api (bala) dari langit yang membakar kamu berdua.”
8. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan isterimu kecuali ada padamu satu tuala dan pada isterimu satu tuala.”
9. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berdua menyapu dengan menggunakan satu tuala, nanti akan jatuh syahwat keatas syahwat (salah seorang akan kuat syahwatnya daripada yang lagi satu), maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu akan mengakibatkan permusuhan kemudian membawa kamu berdua kepada berpecah dan talak.”
10. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu secara berdiri, maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu daripada perbuatan kaldai, jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, maka anak itu sentiasa kencing di tempat tidur seperti kaldai yang suka kencing di merata-rata tempat.”
11. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam ‘Aidil Fitri (Raya Puasa), maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak anak itu seorang yang cacat dan tidak mendapat anak baginya kecuali sudah tua.”
12. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam ‘Aidil Adha, maka sesungguhnya jika kamu berdua berjima’ pada malam tersebut, apabila Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak aku bimbang ia akan menjadi seorang yang berjari enam atau empat.”
13. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu di bawah cahaya matahari (secara langsung – direct) dan terkena warna (cahayanya), kecuali kamu mengenakan tutupan (bumbung), jika tidak maka sesungguhnya kalau Allah mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti anak itu akan menjadi seorang sentiasa hidup dalam meminta-minta dan faqir sehingga mati.”
14. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu di bawah pohon kayu yang berbuah, maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kamu berdua anak, nanti anak itu akan menjadi seorang tukang gojo, tukang sebat atau seorang ketua yang bengis,”
15. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu sewaktu antara azan dan iqomah, jika berjima’ pada waktu demikian, sesungguhnya jika Allah mengurniakan anak pada kamu berdua, nanti ia menjadi seorang yang menumpahkan darah.”
16. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu semasa ia hamil kecuali kamu berdua berwudhu’, jika tidak maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kamu berdua anak, nanti ia akan menjadi seorang yang buta hati dan bakhil tangan.”
17. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada pertengahan (Nisfu) Sya’ban, maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kamu berdua anak,nanti anak itu akan mempunyai tanda yang jelek pada muka dan rambutnya.”
18. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada akhir bulan (yakni tinggal dua hari) maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak nanti anak tersebut menjadi seorang yang sentiasa perlu meminta-minta. “
19. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu dengan syahwat terhadap saudara perempuannya ! (ipar kamu) kerana yang demikian itu sesungguhnya kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti anak itu akan menjadi penolong dan pembantu kepada orang yang zalim dan pada tangannya membuat kebinasaan kepada manusia.”
20. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu di atas loteng maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan anak kepada kamu berdua nanti anak itu menjadi seorang munafiq, pelampau yang melewati batas.”
21. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam kamu hendak keluar musafir kerana yang demikian itu sesungguhnya kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, ia akan membelanjakan harta kepada yang tidak Haq,” dan Rasulullah s.a.w. membaca ayat Al-Quran : “Innal Mubazziriina kaanu – ikhwan Nas – Syayathin.”
22. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu bila kamu keluar bermusafir dalam tempoh tiga hari tiga malam, maka yang demikian itu sesungguhnya bil! a Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti ia menjadi seorang pembantu kepada setiap orang yang zalim.”
23. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada awal malam, maka sesungguhnya jika dikurniakan anak kepada kamu berdua, ia menjadi seorang tukang sihir, sunglap, dan menghendaki dunia daripada akhirat.”
24. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu bacalah : “Allahumma Jannibnis Syaitan Wajanibis Syaitan Mimma Rozaktani.” Maka yang demikian itu kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu anak, tidak dimudaratkan oleh syaitan terhadapnya selama-lamanya. “
25. “Wahai Ali..! hendaklah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Isnin maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, ia akan menjadi seorang yang berpegang teguh kepada kitab Allah (Al-Quran) dan redha terhadap segala pemberian Allah s.w.t. (baik d! an buruk Qada’ dan Qadar Allah).”
26. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Selasa, Allah s.w.t. akan memberi kepada kamu berdua anak yang mendapat nikmat Mati Syahid sesudah syahadah : ‘Anla ilahaillallah wa anna Muhammada ar-Rasulullah’ dan Allah s.w.t. tidak azabkannya (turun bala kepadanya) bersama-sama orang musyrikin, mulutnya berbau harum yang akan melembutkan hati orang, bersih lidahnya daripada mengumpat, berdusta dan mengadu-domba. “
27. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu malam Khamis, maka Allah s.w.t. akan mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak yang bijaksana, atau seorang yang alim,di kalangan orang-orang yang alim.”
28. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu sewaktu matahari di tengah langit, Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua seorang anak yang tidak di hampiri syaitan sehingga ia beruban (tua) dan menjadi seorang yang faqih serta Allah s.w.t. rezekikan kepadanya keselamatan agama dan dunia.”
29. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Jumaat dan nanti anak kamu berdua adalah seorang pemidato yang berwibawa dan petah.”
30. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada hari Jumaat, selepas Asar, Allah s.w.t. akan kurniakan seorang anak yang terkenal, masyhor dan alim.”
31. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Jumaat selepas Isyak yang akhir, maka sesungguhnya di harapkan anakmu nanti menjadi seorang yang abdal (terkemuka),
-----------------
Demikian wasiat Rasulullah SAW kpd Saidina Ali.
aku pun taktau lansung bab yg ni:
21. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam kamu hendak keluar musafir kerana yang demikian itu sesungguhnya kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, ia akan membelanjakan harta kepada yang tidak Haq,” dan Rasulullah s.a.w. membaca ayat Al-Quran : “Innal Mubazziriina kaanu – ikhwan Nas – Syayathin.”
22. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu bila kamu keluar bermusafir dalam tempoh tiga hari tiga malam, maka yang demikian itu sesungguhnya bila Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti ia menjadi seorang pembantu kepada setiap orang yang zalim.”
Aku bersyukur sebab Allah takjadikan janin yang mase aku gi Australia thn lepas. kononnya lepas hCG trigger, aku ovulate waktu aku sebelom nak gi Goldcoast tu. so timed intercourse tu ialah a few hours before pegi goldcoast. Rupanya dilarang oleh rasulullah, kalau jadi anak tu, maka jadi lah anak yang akan membelanjakan harta kpd yg tidak Haq, atau menjadi pembantu kpd setiap org yg zalim.
Memang, kalau kite taktau, dan kalau aku ditakdirkan pregnant mase tu, aku masih mampu berdoa supaya anak aku tidak akan jadi camtu,..semua ni adalah kuasa Allah, tapi kita sbg manusia harus berusaha..kali ni aku dah tau jadi Alhamdulillah, lepas ni aku boleh elak.
Jadi bagaimana dgn honeymoon? aku tanye laki aku, sbenanye takde istilah 'honeymoon' dalam islam. Jadi kalau betol nak plan buat anak mase honeymoon, dia kate kat atas ni 3hari 3 malam berturut2 kan..so 3hari tu gi la shopping ke ape2 dulu..hehehe, lepas 3hari baru la ON kot....laki aku ckp "ha pandai2 la fikir"
August 12, 2011
Myth Terbaru
Whether it's a myth, or fact, Wallahuallam..but this is definitely new info.
Recently ni aku bersembang kat fb dgn ex-classmate & ex-dorm mate kat skolah teknik dulu. Dia kawin awal jugak tapi die conceive 1st child after 4 years, then skang anak 1st dia tu dah 5thn, die baru pregnant for the 2nd time after trying for 5years. she shared some infos with me for the past few months but then she just bugged me off with the news telling that she is 10 weeks pregnant. after abah dia meninggal, sbb mase abah dia belum meninggal, abah dia yg ckp dia mcm pregnant, rupenye abah dia lebih awal dah rasa. so Allah mmg tak kejam, lepas Dia ambik abah, ganti dengan anak pulak.
i was at first a little pissed off, but not to her, maybe sbb aku baru je bengang dgn biras aku nye sms aritu, then tibe2 member aku ni msg aku gitu lak, ter'menyirap' sekejap, but i didnt blamed her bcoz dia takde niat nak kecikkan ati aku, she just may want to tell me that after years and years of trying, Allah will finally answer our prayers. and she is actually wanted to give me some support as a friend. :)
Tadi die baru reply msg aku kat fb with new info which i never thought of, and never found anywhere about it.
".. pernah x jmpa forum pasal isteri2 yg susah mengandung? yana lupa tajuk dia. ramai yg citer diorg berthn susah nak lekat. dah buat mcm2 mcm kita buat, pastu lepas buat aktiviti lasak sebln/2 terus lekat. yana sndiri x pasti..tp org kata bila kita buat aktiviti lasak hormon kita akan stabil balik. kalau jay nak tahu..bln 5 hr tu kami ada ekspedisi mendaki gunung nuang. memang gilerlah..almaklumlah..last mendaki form 4. tiba dah beranak satu mendaki balik. curam lak tu. seminggu pastu yana period n terus lekat...2,3 kawan kat sini pun mcm tu tp x taulah kalau kebetulan. awak untung jay, memang xda depan mata..tp anak2 awak dah tunggu awk kat pintu syurga.. yana pun x berapa suka sgt budak..budak tgk yana pun takut tau!! mak selalu marah"kau dgn budak pun nak gaduh ke??"
as far as i knew, SEMUA ORANG menghalang aku buat aktiviti lasak. dan ada jugak sepupu2 yg penah kata "tu laa awak ni lasak sangat, kurangkan la lasak2 tu"
ape yg aku lasak aku pon takpasti sbenanya bile diorg ckp mcm tu. aku bukannye keje Askar ke, atau kontraktor buat rumah ke, atau hari2 bersukan main futsal ke, main bolasepak ke,..(DUH) how 'lasak' is lasak?
adekah sbb aku keje sbg photographer before ni menyebabkan hormon aku takbetol?, (which i thought WAS the reason)
jadi sejak aku kawin aku QUIT ambik gambar dengan alasan supaya mudah pregnant. aku reject byk job semata2 aku takot aku dah lekat time tu, astu takot jatoh. aku takot jugak kalau aku byk sgt ambik job, aku akan stress.
aku tolak kawan2 nye offer ajak naik bukit tabor (sbenanye sbb aku benci kalau athsma aku dtg, tapi alasan terbaru aku akan ckp nnt susah pregnant) dan aku regret lepas panjat ladang teh cameron highlands last november sbb aku endup bleeding terok lepastu tapi MAYBE masetu aku dah tau bende dah lekat kan? pi naik ladang teh buat apa? :D and i remember zack penah ajak aku main disco roller skate kat The Wheels Disco Roller Skating kat subang avenue, aku taknak sbb takot jatoh la ape la, aku ni slalu takot benda yg tak payah takot!
akhirnya after 2 years of mengelakkan 'aktiviti LASAK' ni aku rase taksampai 10 job wedding pun aku ambik, and takde satu aktiviti lasak pun yg aku buat, and still, not pregnant.
JADI new info ini telah membuatkan aku termenong jap.
aku konfiden dengan duduk diam2 dekat sirim ni, wat keje yg tak byk sgt, masok keje 830 balik keje 530, akan lebih memudahkan aku untuk pregnant. ni jgn kata pregnant, PERIOD pun tak.(kalau tak makan ubat) mmg dulu mase aku keje photographer period aku pun takbetul gak tapi period aku akan datang without any pills, any inducement. and aku akan merasai simtom2 period mcm org yg normal seperti 2minggu b4 period, ada breast pain, lapar gila, mengidam mcm2, and aku akan senggugot mase 1st day period. WALAUPUN, cycle aku lama/irregular. kdg2 2bulan skali, kdg2 3bulan skali, kdg2 sebulan skali gak, kdg2 4bulan skali. tapi aku tetap period.
WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
Kenapa org2 sekeliling kita suka bagi tips yg die pun taktau sahih atau tak. Like "awak ni lasak sangat kot" seriously, that annoys me more.
Mcm mana diorg tau aku lasak ke tak? aku rase aku pemalas ade aa..keje tido je, nak2 lagi dgn life yg baru lepas kawin ni, lagi terok aku nye malas. nak design album yg client sub kat aku pun aku malas, basoh baju malas, gosok baju sendri pun malas, semua malas. MASAK lagi la malas. aku suke masak, tapi aku malas nak kemas dapur mcm basuh2 periok ke sental2 kuali ke, HAAAAIII MALAS NYE! aku akan buat dgn segera bende2 ni tapi aku akan mengeluh sorg2 sbb letih. (baru buat mende mcm tu dah letih :P kalau jage budak 100 kali lagi letih agaknye)
aku ckp aku malas sbb aku slalu tak biarkan bende tu semua lame2, jadi aku akan buat dgn segera lepastu aku bengang2 sbb penat kene buat tu semua.
nak wat camana, aku jadi anak tunggal lame sgt, 12thn. dan selame aku jadi anak tunggal aku tak buat ape2 pun kat umah. (anak bertuah) jadi bile aku kene buat ni semua aku cpt rase penat, walaupun aku taksuke tapi aku buat sbb takkan laki aku lak kene buat? jadi bile aku tau aku yg kene buat tu semua, aku slalu AVOID supaya aku takyah buat. so like masak, better takyah masak sbb nanti kene kemas. tapi once aku masak, sebelum makan aku pastikan dapur dah BERSIH. itu yg bulan puase ni aku malas masak sbb laki aku balik keje kol 530, aku kene tunggu die sampai 530 baru aku leh balik skali. sampai umah dkt kol 6, sbb agak jem kat roundabout2 s.alam mcm biase ptg2. aku masak mcm LIPAS, berkecah gile dapor aku, tapi yg pastinye sebelom buka aku nak gak basoh semua bende. periok tu panas2 aku tuang lauk semua kat mangkok n aku teros basoh!
so berbalik kpd tajok "LASAK" tadi, bile yana bagitau aku mcm tu, then should i start to take pictures dan jadi org gile mcm dulu balik??! Tak semestinya kot, maybe aktiviti lain?
thanks yana, really appreciate this info. this is FRESH new info.
oh and i like the fact that kids hates her. sbenanye i guess kids hates me too. maybe KIDS can 'smell' who did 'honestly' like them or not. kan? hehe, byk dah anak buah aku, anak kawan2 aku, yg taksuke kat aku. hahaha! aku dukong je nangis, astu pandang aku dgn 'disgusted' look. I dont know if its true or not. haha.
ke aku yg takreti nak buat diorg suka? Ah yg penting sbb aku mmg takde anak so i dont know how to please kids. Adek aku sendri dah 3 bulan baru aku reti nak cakk cakk dgn dia. kalau tak aku tgk je. cuit2 pipi die sket. nak ciom pun tak reti! it is not my nature, itu yg aku susah nak pikir. tapi sgt ramai je org yg xsuke budak yg mudah pregnant.
so it may not be the reason.
Recently ni aku bersembang kat fb dgn ex-classmate & ex-dorm mate kat skolah teknik dulu. Dia kawin awal jugak tapi die conceive 1st child after 4 years, then skang anak 1st dia tu dah 5thn, die baru pregnant for the 2nd time after trying for 5years. she shared some infos with me for the past few months but then she just bugged me off with the news telling that she is 10 weeks pregnant. after abah dia meninggal, sbb mase abah dia belum meninggal, abah dia yg ckp dia mcm pregnant, rupenye abah dia lebih awal dah rasa. so Allah mmg tak kejam, lepas Dia ambik abah, ganti dengan anak pulak.
i was at first a little pissed off, but not to her, maybe sbb aku baru je bengang dgn biras aku nye sms aritu, then tibe2 member aku ni msg aku gitu lak, ter'menyirap' sekejap, but i didnt blamed her bcoz dia takde niat nak kecikkan ati aku, she just may want to tell me that after years and years of trying, Allah will finally answer our prayers. and she is actually wanted to give me some support as a friend. :)
Tadi die baru reply msg aku kat fb with new info which i never thought of, and never found anywhere about it.
".. pernah x jmpa forum pasal isteri2 yg susah mengandung? yana lupa tajuk dia. ramai yg citer diorg berthn susah nak lekat. dah buat mcm2 mcm kita buat, pastu lepas buat aktiviti lasak sebln/2 terus lekat. yana sndiri x pasti..tp org kata bila kita buat aktiviti lasak hormon kita akan stabil balik. kalau jay nak tahu..bln 5 hr tu kami ada ekspedisi mendaki gunung nuang. memang gilerlah..almaklumlah..last mendaki form 4. tiba dah beranak satu mendaki balik. curam lak tu. seminggu pastu yana period n terus lekat...2,3 kawan kat sini pun mcm tu tp x taulah kalau kebetulan. awak untung jay, memang xda depan mata..tp anak2 awak dah tunggu awk kat pintu syurga.. yana pun x berapa suka sgt budak..budak tgk yana pun takut tau!! mak selalu marah"kau dgn budak pun nak gaduh ke??"
as far as i knew, SEMUA ORANG menghalang aku buat aktiviti lasak. dan ada jugak sepupu2 yg penah kata "tu laa awak ni lasak sangat, kurangkan la lasak2 tu"
ape yg aku lasak aku pon takpasti sbenanya bile diorg ckp mcm tu. aku bukannye keje Askar ke, atau kontraktor buat rumah ke, atau hari2 bersukan main futsal ke, main bolasepak ke,..(DUH) how 'lasak' is lasak?
adekah sbb aku keje sbg photographer before ni menyebabkan hormon aku takbetol?, (which i thought WAS the reason)
jadi sejak aku kawin aku QUIT ambik gambar dengan alasan supaya mudah pregnant. aku reject byk job semata2 aku takot aku dah lekat time tu, astu takot jatoh. aku takot jugak kalau aku byk sgt ambik job, aku akan stress.
aku tolak kawan2 nye offer ajak naik bukit tabor (sbenanye sbb aku benci kalau athsma aku dtg, tapi alasan terbaru aku akan ckp nnt susah pregnant) dan aku regret lepas panjat ladang teh cameron highlands last november sbb aku endup bleeding terok lepastu tapi MAYBE masetu aku dah tau bende dah lekat kan? pi naik ladang teh buat apa? :D and i remember zack penah ajak aku main disco roller skate kat The Wheels Disco Roller Skating kat subang avenue, aku taknak sbb takot jatoh la ape la, aku ni slalu takot benda yg tak payah takot!
akhirnya after 2 years of mengelakkan 'aktiviti LASAK' ni aku rase taksampai 10 job wedding pun aku ambik, and takde satu aktiviti lasak pun yg aku buat, and still, not pregnant.
JADI new info ini telah membuatkan aku termenong jap.
aku konfiden dengan duduk diam2 dekat sirim ni, wat keje yg tak byk sgt, masok keje 830 balik keje 530, akan lebih memudahkan aku untuk pregnant. ni jgn kata pregnant, PERIOD pun tak.(kalau tak makan ubat) mmg dulu mase aku keje photographer period aku pun takbetul gak tapi period aku akan datang without any pills, any inducement. and aku akan merasai simtom2 period mcm org yg normal seperti 2minggu b4 period, ada breast pain, lapar gila, mengidam mcm2, and aku akan senggugot mase 1st day period. WALAUPUN, cycle aku lama/irregular. kdg2 2bulan skali, kdg2 3bulan skali, kdg2 sebulan skali gak, kdg2 4bulan skali. tapi aku tetap period.
WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
Kenapa org2 sekeliling kita suka bagi tips yg die pun taktau sahih atau tak. Like "awak ni lasak sangat kot" seriously, that annoys me more.
Mcm mana diorg tau aku lasak ke tak? aku rase aku pemalas ade aa..keje tido je, nak2 lagi dgn life yg baru lepas kawin ni, lagi terok aku nye malas. nak design album yg client sub kat aku pun aku malas, basoh baju malas, gosok baju sendri pun malas, semua malas. MASAK lagi la malas. aku suke masak, tapi aku malas nak kemas dapur mcm basuh2 periok ke sental2 kuali ke, HAAAAIII MALAS NYE! aku akan buat dgn segera bende2 ni tapi aku akan mengeluh sorg2 sbb letih. (baru buat mende mcm tu dah letih :P kalau jage budak 100 kali lagi letih agaknye)
aku ckp aku malas sbb aku slalu tak biarkan bende tu semua lame2, jadi aku akan buat dgn segera lepastu aku bengang2 sbb penat kene buat tu semua.
nak wat camana, aku jadi anak tunggal lame sgt, 12thn. dan selame aku jadi anak tunggal aku tak buat ape2 pun kat umah. (anak bertuah) jadi bile aku kene buat ni semua aku cpt rase penat, walaupun aku taksuke tapi aku buat sbb takkan laki aku lak kene buat? jadi bile aku tau aku yg kene buat tu semua, aku slalu AVOID supaya aku takyah buat. so like masak, better takyah masak sbb nanti kene kemas. tapi once aku masak, sebelum makan aku pastikan dapur dah BERSIH. itu yg bulan puase ni aku malas masak sbb laki aku balik keje kol 530, aku kene tunggu die sampai 530 baru aku leh balik skali. sampai umah dkt kol 6, sbb agak jem kat roundabout2 s.alam mcm biase ptg2. aku masak mcm LIPAS, berkecah gile dapor aku, tapi yg pastinye sebelom buka aku nak gak basoh semua bende. periok tu panas2 aku tuang lauk semua kat mangkok n aku teros basoh!
so berbalik kpd tajok "LASAK" tadi, bile yana bagitau aku mcm tu, then should i start to take pictures dan jadi org gile mcm dulu balik??! Tak semestinya kot, maybe aktiviti lain?
thanks yana, really appreciate this info. this is FRESH new info.
oh and i like the fact that kids hates her. sbenanye i guess kids hates me too. maybe KIDS can 'smell' who did 'honestly' like them or not. kan? hehe, byk dah anak buah aku, anak kawan2 aku, yg taksuke kat aku. hahaha! aku dukong je nangis, astu pandang aku dgn 'disgusted' look. I dont know if its true or not. haha.
ke aku yg takreti nak buat diorg suka? Ah yg penting sbb aku mmg takde anak so i dont know how to please kids. Adek aku sendri dah 3 bulan baru aku reti nak cakk cakk dgn dia. kalau tak aku tgk je. cuit2 pipi die sket. nak ciom pun tak reti! it is not my nature, itu yg aku susah nak pikir. tapi sgt ramai je org yg xsuke budak yg mudah pregnant.
so it may not be the reason.
August 10, 2011
Lemau.
Tak banyak utk diupdate bulan2 puase ni.
Temp sangat2 low, mungkin aku check temp mase nak bangun sahor.
Maybe temp kite turun naik ikot waktu? ENTAH tattau plak
mungkin sbb aku on fertilAid ni which mmg restore estrogen utk kasi balance dgn progesterone, tu yg temp low? tapi progesterone nye tak naik2 pun?
aku tak period2 dan perot aku still senak2 dari aritu, fertilAid ni pon dah nak abis n aku tattau apekah perubahan yg akan berlaku, ataupon aku kene ikot like mcm dia kata "3 months to see the result"
ok aku akan ambik 3 months. kalau takde ape2 lepas 3months, then aku should stop this and try something else. ape lagi yg ELSE pun takleh pikir dah.
metformin aku ambik bile aku susah nak berak je. :D hehee
dr delaila mesti maghah kalau aku ckp aku dah tak ambik metformin.
eh smlm aku mimpi menyusukan seorang budak. hm. bukan aku punye susu, aku suap susu botol kat dia. hehehe, baby tu kenit je. entah anak sapa.
aritu aritu pon ada mimpi, ade org dtg bagi anak kat aku. die kate Nah, aku taknak budak ni.
eh byk lagi mimpi2 baby ni.
bile org tanye skg aku akan jawap yg aku dah taknak pikir, n aku redha,dan aku dah takkesah kan?
sbenanye deep down, aku masih takleh lari drp fikir BILA yer nak pregnant ni....kalau org suke tanye aku BILA BILA BILA? aku sendri pon bertanyekan soklan bILA tu.
aku masih kesah sbenanye cume, dalam cara yg lebih cool.haha!
cool ke? kalau nampak org pgnant je TERtanya soalan "asal die pregnant aa? asal tuhan bagi dia?" (dalam hati)
wah,...istighfar byk2. ade ke nak persoal keje tuhan.
tgk citer melayu yg budak2 mude sarat mengandung luar nikah, astu buang plak anak tu, dan sbgnya. terus nak maghah, akan terdetik (nape tuhan bagi dia?) (walaupon citer tv je bende tu)
mcm citer Berpaling pada Kaabah ke hape aritu, pompuan tu jahat gile. buat2 baik alim semua padahal hati die jahat gila, dan tgh mengandung luar nikah. Pikir blk, hai senang jek kan dia?
sampai aku terpikir Adakah aku kene buat jahat baru pgnant? Adakah aku kene jadi mcm (biras)aku yg bertuah mcm aku cite bwh2 ni, baru pgnant? (dia dah lari plak skang ni pi umah mak dia-lantak dia nnt nak branak sendri mau ingat)
TAK BAIK KAN iskk aku ni....asik2 terdetik2 mende2 mcm tu..
aku percaya pada takdir. yg penting Allah xkan kejam kpd org yg sentiase berusaha.
xbagi anak, bagi bende lain pun syukor.
dah bagi suami, kang dah bagi anak, aku nak lain plak!
dah bagi anak, nnt nak anak lagi sorg. dpt lagi sorg, nak kembar plak. astu sedih plak bile cube utk dpt kembar takdpt2..ha mmg slalunye gitu lah manusia ni...
:)
sekian.
Temp sangat2 low, mungkin aku check temp mase nak bangun sahor.
Maybe temp kite turun naik ikot waktu? ENTAH tattau plak
mungkin sbb aku on fertilAid ni which mmg restore estrogen utk kasi balance dgn progesterone, tu yg temp low? tapi progesterone nye tak naik2 pun?
aku tak period2 dan perot aku still senak2 dari aritu, fertilAid ni pon dah nak abis n aku tattau apekah perubahan yg akan berlaku, ataupon aku kene ikot like mcm dia kata "3 months to see the result"
ok aku akan ambik 3 months. kalau takde ape2 lepas 3months, then aku should stop this and try something else. ape lagi yg ELSE pun takleh pikir dah.
metformin aku ambik bile aku susah nak berak je. :D hehee
dr delaila mesti maghah kalau aku ckp aku dah tak ambik metformin.
eh smlm aku mimpi menyusukan seorang budak. hm. bukan aku punye susu, aku suap susu botol kat dia. hehehe, baby tu kenit je. entah anak sapa.
aritu aritu pon ada mimpi, ade org dtg bagi anak kat aku. die kate Nah, aku taknak budak ni.
eh byk lagi mimpi2 baby ni.
bile org tanye skg aku akan jawap yg aku dah taknak pikir, n aku redha,dan aku dah takkesah kan?
sbenanye deep down, aku masih takleh lari drp fikir BILA yer nak pregnant ni....kalau org suke tanye aku BILA BILA BILA? aku sendri pon bertanyekan soklan bILA tu.
aku masih kesah sbenanye cume, dalam cara yg lebih cool.haha!
cool ke? kalau nampak org pgnant je TERtanya soalan "asal die pregnant aa? asal tuhan bagi dia?" (dalam hati)
wah,...istighfar byk2. ade ke nak persoal keje tuhan.
tgk citer melayu yg budak2 mude sarat mengandung luar nikah, astu buang plak anak tu, dan sbgnya. terus nak maghah, akan terdetik (nape tuhan bagi dia?) (walaupon citer tv je bende tu)
mcm citer Berpaling pada Kaabah ke hape aritu, pompuan tu jahat gile. buat2 baik alim semua padahal hati die jahat gila, dan tgh mengandung luar nikah. Pikir blk, hai senang jek kan dia?
sampai aku terpikir Adakah aku kene buat jahat baru pgnant? Adakah aku kene jadi mcm (biras)aku yg bertuah mcm aku cite bwh2 ni, baru pgnant? (dia dah lari plak skang ni pi umah mak dia-lantak dia nnt nak branak sendri mau ingat)
TAK BAIK KAN iskk aku ni....asik2 terdetik2 mende2 mcm tu..
aku percaya pada takdir. yg penting Allah xkan kejam kpd org yg sentiase berusaha.
xbagi anak, bagi bende lain pun syukor.
dah bagi suami, kang dah bagi anak, aku nak lain plak!
dah bagi anak, nnt nak anak lagi sorg. dpt lagi sorg, nak kembar plak. astu sedih plak bile cube utk dpt kembar takdpt2..ha mmg slalunye gitu lah manusia ni...
:)
sekian.
August 1, 2011
Ramadhan 1432h, masih berdua.
Selamat berpuasa semua, aku mohon maaf kalau ada salah silap atau tulisan aku yg mengguris hati disini, sengaja atau tidak :D heh...
seperti tahun2 yg sudah, mengharap ade miracle berlaku bulan ini, supaya tidak lah perit sgt nak jawap soklan cepumas di hari raya ini. tapi leh buat ape pon selain mengharap..ape2 pun kalau xde xkesah lah :D raya ke3 kami ke Bali. satu family cuti2 sana, konon nak bagi adek aku release tension die nak PMR.huh, aku nak PMR takde pon bpk aku bwk gi jalan2 utk release tension. hahaha
Senyap dah biras aku tu, bagos. Aku doakan bulan puase ni dia berdamai je lah dgn angah,. Harap tuhan panjangkan lagi jodoh diorg tu.
Ramadhan ini aku masih berdua, alhamdulillah atleast berdua, bukan seorang.
Semalam aku bedal tutti frutti, sampai 2 cup. amboi sedap sgt rupenye. jakgi drp mlm nak tido sampai ke sahur aku cirit. so harini berpuasa dlm keadaan saket perot. padanmuke mkn lagi yogurt byk2. tapi sedap weh. Eh cite makan lak aku.
kekeke
seperti tahun2 yg sudah, mengharap ade miracle berlaku bulan ini, supaya tidak lah perit sgt nak jawap soklan cepumas di hari raya ini. tapi leh buat ape pon selain mengharap..ape2 pun kalau xde xkesah lah :D raya ke3 kami ke Bali. satu family cuti2 sana, konon nak bagi adek aku release tension die nak PMR.huh, aku nak PMR takde pon bpk aku bwk gi jalan2 utk release tension. hahaha
Senyap dah biras aku tu, bagos. Aku doakan bulan puase ni dia berdamai je lah dgn angah,. Harap tuhan panjangkan lagi jodoh diorg tu.
Ramadhan ini aku masih berdua, alhamdulillah atleast berdua, bukan seorang.
Semalam aku bedal tutti frutti, sampai 2 cup. amboi sedap sgt rupenye. jakgi drp mlm nak tido sampai ke sahur aku cirit. so harini berpuasa dlm keadaan saket perot. padanmuke mkn lagi yogurt byk2. tapi sedap weh. Eh cite makan lak aku.
kekeke
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