Just nak tanya, dan survey..respond kat comments ya..
Pernah tanya tak mak korang mase nak mengandungkan korang tunggu berapa lama? Yang anak sulung berapa lama? and yang ade kakak atau abang, jarak berapa jauh and keturunan korang ada yang macam ni tak? ada PCOS, Endo, atau simply unexplained infertility?
For me, blah mak takde masalah. Adik beradik dia semua senang beranak. Tapi dia je yang susah just becoz of bapak aku, dan adik beradik bapak aku ramai yang susah jugak. Keturunan blah bapak, semua yang dapat anak lambat. paling lama takde anak, 5 tahun, dan lebih lama dari 5tahun ialah TAKDE ANAK LANSUNG.
tapi bukan adik beradik dia, cousin2 dia. cousin2 bapak aku ada yang 10tahun baru dapat anak. and ada yang failed IVF 3 4 kali, dan akhirnya ambik anak angkat sampai 2 3orang. pun boleh juga.
Jadi, how about you?
Showing posts with label Article. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Article. Show all posts
February 22, 2012
January 19, 2012
He's 34 today
Happy birthday to my beloved-loved-loved husband, faisal (a.k.a Along)
Celebrated with our beloved friends at GravyBaby Musicafe Laman Seri semalam.
Cake sangat sedap, member2 yang pilih. Nyam!
Happy 34th Birthday Sayang!
We're both January People.
kalau anak pun January, best juga. tapi perangai2 orang January ini, baran. haha! dan degil.
eh berangan nak anak bulan itu bulan ini. PERIOD betulkan dulu, JAY!
--
*ini sakit kat abdomen dah kenapa? period dah habis kot harini, tapi kenapa denyut2? what happen?!!! mgkin imagination je kot. -___-
Celebrated with our beloved friends at GravyBaby Musicafe Laman Seri semalam.
Cake sangat sedap, member2 yang pilih. Nyam!
 |
| Pic by my friend AlongZunaira |
Happy 34th Birthday Sayang!
We're both January People.
kalau anak pun January, best juga. tapi perangai2 orang January ini, baran. haha! dan degil.
eh berangan nak anak bulan itu bulan ini. PERIOD betulkan dulu, JAY!
--
*ini sakit kat abdomen dah kenapa? period dah habis kot harini, tapi kenapa denyut2? what happen?!!! mgkin imagination je kot. -___-
August 24, 2011
Infertility Etiquette - by http://ttcbabyblog.blogspot.com
Infertility Etiquette
(Thanks to 'Miracle in the Making' for posting this! Make sure to visit her at her blog!) http://ttcbabyblog.blogspot.com/
By Vita Alligood
Chances are, you know someone who is struggling with infertility. More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. Yet, as a society, we are woefully uninformed about how to best provide emotional support for our loved ones during this painful time.
Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn’t coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.
The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy’s nose and daddy’s eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.
As the couple moves into infertility treatments, the pain increases while the bank account depletes. Most infertility treatments involve using hormones, which alter the user’s moods. (That statement is like calling a lion a cat-my husband would tell you that the side effect is insanity!) The tests are invasive and embarrassing to both parties, and you feel like the doctor has taken over your bedroom. And for all of this discomfort, you pay a lot of money. Infertility treatments are expensive, and most insurance companies do not cover the costs. So, in addition to the pain of not conceiving a baby each month, the couple pays out anywhere from $300 to five figures (10's of thousands of dollars), depending upon the treatment used.
A couple will eventually resolve the infertility problem in one of three ways:
They will eventually conceive a baby.
They will stop the infertility treatments and choose to live without children.
They will find an alternative way to parent, such as by adopting a child or becoming a foster parent.
Reaching a resolution can take years, so your infertile loved ones need your emotional support during this journey. Most people don’t know what to say, so they wind up saying the wrong thing, which only makes the journey so much harder for their loved ones. Knowing what not to say is half of the battle to providing support.
Don’t Tell Them to Relax
Everyone knows someone who had trouble conceiving but then finally became pregnant once she “relaxed.” Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of “relaxing” are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as “infertile” until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year. In fact, most infertility specialists will not treat a couple for infertility until they have tried to become pregnant for a year.
This year weeds out the people who aren’t infertile but just need to “relax.” Those that remain are truly infertile. Comments such as “just relax” or “try going on a cruise” create even more stress for the infertile couple, particularly the woman. The woman feels like she is doing something wrong when, in fact, there is a good chance that there is a physical problem preventing her from becoming pregnant.
These comments can also reach the point of absurdity. As a couple, my husband and I underwent two surgeries, numerous inseminations, hormone treatments, and four years of poking and prodding by doctors. Yet, people still continued to say things like, “If you just relaxed on a cruise . . .” Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem that must be treated by a doctor, and even with treatment, many couples will NEVER successfully conceive a child. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility.
Don’t Minimize the Problem
Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone’s life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy. Comments like, “Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.,” do not offer comfort.
Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn’t tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father’s Day or Mother’s Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn’t even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.
Don’t Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen
Along the same lines, don’t tell your friend that there are worse things that she could be going through. Who is the final authority on what is the “worst” thing that could happen to someone? Is it going through a divorce? Watching a loved one die? Getting raped? Losing a job?Different people react to different life experiences in different ways. To someone who has trained his whole life for the Olympics, the “worst” thing might be experiencing an injury the week before the event. To someone who has walked away from her career to become a stay-at-home wife for 40 years, watching her husband leave her for a younger woman might be the “worst” thing. And, to a woman whose sole goal in life has been to love and nurture a child, infertility may indeed be the “worst” thing that could happen.
People wouldn’t dream of telling someone whose parent just died, “It could be worse: both of your parents could be dead.” Such a comment would be considered cruel rather than comforting. In the same vein, don’t tell your friend that she could be going through worse things than infertility.
Don’t Say They Aren’t Meant to Be Parents
One of the cruelest things anyone ever said to me is, “Maybe God doesn’t intend for you to be a mother.” How incredibly insensitive to imply that I would be such a bad mother that God felt the need to divinely sterilize me. If God were in the business of divinely sterilizing women, don’t you think he would prevent the pregnancies that end in abortions? Or wouldn’t he sterilize the women who wind up neglecting and abusing their children? Even if you aren’t religious, the “maybe it’s not meant to be” comments are not comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature.
Don’t Ask Why They Aren’t Trying IVF
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a method in which the woman harvests multiple eggs, which are then combined with the man’s sperm in a petri dish. This is the method that can produce multiple births. People frequently ask, “Why don’t you just try IVF?” in the same casual tone they would use to ask, “Why don’t you try shopping at another store?”There are many reasons why a couple would choose not to pursue this option. Here are a few of them.
IVF is Expensive with Low Odds
One cycle of IVF is very expensive. With all of the hype in the news, many people assume that IVF is a sure thing when, in fact, the odds of success for each cycle are low. Most couples cannot afford to try for one month, much less for multiple times. Considering that it also costs a significant amount of money to adopt a baby, many couples opt for the “sure thing” rather then risking their money on much lower odds.
IVF is Physically Taxing
Undergoing IVF treatments is very rigorous. The woman must inject shots into her thigh daily to cause her ovaries to superovulate. The drugs used are very taxing on the woman, and they can cause her to be become extremely emotional.
IVF Raises Ethical Issues
Ironically, couples who undergo IVF to become parents may have to selectively abort one or more fetuses if multiple eggs are fertilized. Many couples cannot bring themselves to abort a baby when they have worked so hard to become parents. If the couple chooses not to selectively abort, they run the risk of multiple births.
Don’t Offer Unsolicited Opinions
If They Are Trying IVF On the flip side of the coin, don’t offer unsolicited advice to your friends who do choose to try IVF. For many couples, IVF is the only way they will ever give birth to a baby. This is a huge decision for them to make, for all of the reasons I outlined above.If the couple has resolved any ethical issues, don’t muddy the waters.
IVF is a gray area in many ethical circles, and many of our moral leaders don’t yet know how to answer the ethical questions that have arisen from this new technology. If the couple has resolved these issues already, you only make it harder by raising the ethical questions again. Respect their decision, and offer your support. If you can’t offer your support due to ethical differences of opinion, then say nothing.
A couple who chooses the IVF route has a hard, expensive road ahead, and they need your support more than ever. The hormones are no cakewalk, and the financial cost is enormous. Your friend would not be going this route if there were an easier way, and the fact that she is willing to endure so much is further proof of how much she truly wants to parent a child. The hormones will make her more emotional, so offer her your support and keep your questions to yourself.
Don’t Play Doctor
Once your infertile friends are under a doctor’s care, the doctor will run them through numerous tests to determine why they aren’t able to conceive. There a numerous reasons that a couple may not be able to conceive.
Here are a few of them:
Blocked fallopian tubes
Cysts
PCOS
Endometriosis
Low hormone levels
Low “normal form” sperm count
Low progesterone level
Low sperm count
Low sperm motility
Thin uterine walls
Infertility is a complicated problem to diagnose, and reading an article or book on infertility will not make you an “expert” on the subject. Let your friends work with their doctor to diagnose and treat the problem. Your friends probably already know more about the causes and solutions of infertility than you will ever know.
You may feel like you are being helpful by reading up on infertility, and there is nothing wrong with learning more about the subject. The problem comes when you try to “play doctor” with your friends. They already have a doctor with years of experience in diagnosing and treating the problem. They need to work with and trust their doctor to treat the problem. You only complicate the issue when you throw out other ideas that you have read about. The doctor knows more about the causes and solutions; let your friends work with their doctor to solve the problem.
Don’t Be Crude
It is appalling that I even have to include this paragraph, but some of you need to hear this-Don’t make crude jokes about your friend’s vulnerable position. Crude comments like “I’ll donate the sperm” or “Make sure the doctor uses your sperm for the insemination” are not funny, and they only irritate your friends.
Don’t Complain About Your Pregnancy
This message is for pregnant women-Just being around you is painful for your infertile friends. Seeing your belly grow is a constant reminder of what your infertile friend cannot have. Unless an infertile women plans to spend her life in a cave, she has to find a way to interact with pregnant women. However, there are things you can do as her friend to make it easier.
The number one rule is DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY. I understand from my friends that, when you are pregnant, your hormones are going crazy and you experience a lot of discomfort, such as queasiness, stretch marks, and fatigue. You have every right to vent about the discomforts to any one else in your life, but don’t put your infertile friend in the position of comforting you.
Your infertile friend would give anything to experience the discomforts you are enduring because those discomforts come from a baby growing inside of you. When I heard a pregnant woman complain about morning sickness, I would think, “I’d gladly throw up for nine straight months if it meant I could have a baby.” When a pregnant woman would complain about her weight gain, I would think, “I would cut off my arm if I could be in your shoes.”
I managed to go to baby showers and hospitals to welcome my friends’ new babies, but it was hard. Without exception, it was hard. Stay sensitive to your infertile friend’s emotions, and give her the leeway that she needs to be happy for you while she cries for herself. If she can’t bring herself to hold your new baby, give her time. She isn’t rejecting you or your new baby; she is just trying to work her way through her pain to show sincere joy for you. The fact that she is willing to endure such pain in order to celebrate your new baby with you speaks volumes about how much your friendship means to her.
[The malay version, stop saying things like “Nah Pegang la baby ni.. ambik berkat sket..” That was actually not comforting too. By just “holding” the baby doesn’t make sense of Berkat by logic. If that so, I would probably have been pregnant 3 times in a row, or more, cause I’ve been holding lotsof babies ever since everyone told me to ‘ambik berkat’ I like to hold babies, because I want to, not that I meant to hope that I will get the ‘berkat’”]
Don’t Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant
For some reason, some people seem to think that infertility causes a person to become unrealistic about the responsibilities of parenthood. I don’t follow the logic, but several people told me that I wouldn’t ache for a baby so much if I appreciated how much responsibility was involved in parenting.
Let’s face it- no one can fully appreciate the responsibilities involved in parenting until they are, themselves, parents. That is true whether you successfully conceived after one month or after 10 years. The length of time you spend waiting for that baby does not factor in to your appreciation of responsibility. If anything, people who have been trying to become pregnant longer have had more time to think about those responsibilities. They have also probably been around lots of babies as their friends started their families.
Perhaps part of what fuels this perception is that infertile couples have a longer time to “dream” about what being a parent will be like. Like every other couple, we have our fantasies-my child will sleep through the night, would never have a tantrum in public, and will always eat his vegetables. Let us have our fantasies. Those fantasies are some of the few parent-to-be perks that we have-let us have them. You can give us your knowing looks when we discover the truth later.
Don’t Gossip About Your Friend’s Condition
Infertility treatments are very private and embarrassing, which is why many couples choose to undergo these treatments in secret. Men especially are very sensitive to letting people know about infertility testing, such as sperm counts. Gossiping about infertility is not usually done in a malicious manner. The gossipers are usually well-meaning people who are only trying to find out more about infertility so they can help their loved ones.
Regardless of why you are sharing this information with someone else, it hurts and embarrasses your friend to find out that Madge the bank teller knows what your husband’s sperm count is and when your next period is expected. Infertility is something that should be kept as private as your friend wants to keep it. Respect your friend’s privacy, and don’t share any information that your friend hasn’t authorized.
Don’t Push Adoption (Yet)
Adoption is a wonderful way for infertile people to become parents. (As an adoptive parent, I can fully vouch for this!!) However, the couple needs to work through many issues before they will be ready to make an adoption decision. Before they can make the decision to love a “stranger’s baby,” they must first grieve the loss of that baby with Daddy’s eyes and Mommy’s nose.
Adoption social workers recognize the importance of the grieving process. When my husband and I went for our initial adoption interview, we expected the first question to be, “Why do you want to adopt a baby?” Instead, the question was, “Have you grieved the loss of your biological child yet?” Our social worker emphasized how important it is to shut one door before you open another.
You do, indeed, need to grieve this loss before you are ready to start the adoption process. The adoption process is very long and expensive, and it is not an easy road. So, the couple needs to be very sure that they can let go of the hope of a biological child and that they can love an adopted baby. This takes time, and some couples are never able to reach this point. If your friend cannot love a baby that isn’t her “own,” then adoption isn’t the right decision for her, and it is certainly not what is best for the baby.
Mentioning adoption in passing can be a comfort to some couples. (The only words that ever offered me comfort were from my sister, who said, “Whether through pregnancy or adoption, you will be a mother one day.”) However, “pushing” the issue can frustrate your friend. So, mention the idea in passing if it seems appropriate, and then drop it. When your friend is ready to talk about adoption, she will raise the issue.
So, what can you say to your infertile friends? Unless you say “I am giving you this baby,” there is nothing you can say that will erase their pain. So, take that pressure off of yourself. It isn’t your job to erase their pain, but there is a lot you can do to lesson the load. Here are a few ideas.
Let Them Know That You Care
The best thing you can do is let your infertile friends know that you care. Send them cards. Let them cry on your shoulder. If they are religious, let them know you are praying for them. Offer the same support you would offer a friend who has lost a loved one. Just knowing they can count on you to be there for them lightens the load and lets them know that they aren’t going through this alone.
Remember Them on Mother’s Day
With all of the activity on Mother’s Day, people tend to forget about women who cannot become mothers. Mother’s Day is an incredibly painful time for infertile women. You cannot get away from it-There are ads on the TV, posters at the stores, church sermons devoted to celebrating motherhood, and all of the plans for celebrating with your own mother and mother-in-law.
Mother’s Day is an important celebration and one that I relish now that I am a mother. However, it was very painful while I was waiting for my baby. Remember your infertile friends on Mother’s Day, and send them a card to let them know you are thinking of them. They will appreciate knowing that you haven’t “forgotten” them.
Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments
No couple can endure infertility treatments forever. At some point, they will stop. This is an agonizing decision to make, and it involves even more grief. Even if the couple chooses to adopt a baby, they must still first grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy’s nose and daddy’s eyes.
Once the couple has made the decision to stop treatments, support their decision. Don’t encourage them to try again, and don’t discourage them from adopting, if that is their choice. Once the couple has reached resolution (whether to live without children, adopt a child, or become foster parents), they can finally put that chapter of their lives behind them. Don’t try to open that chapter again.
(Thanks to 'Miracle in the Making' for posting this! Make sure to visit her at her blog!) http://ttcbabyblog.blogspot.com/
By Vita Alligood
Chances are, you know someone who is struggling with infertility. More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. Yet, as a society, we are woefully uninformed about how to best provide emotional support for our loved ones during this painful time.
Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn’t coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.
The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy’s nose and daddy’s eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.
As the couple moves into infertility treatments, the pain increases while the bank account depletes. Most infertility treatments involve using hormones, which alter the user’s moods. (That statement is like calling a lion a cat-my husband would tell you that the side effect is insanity!) The tests are invasive and embarrassing to both parties, and you feel like the doctor has taken over your bedroom. And for all of this discomfort, you pay a lot of money. Infertility treatments are expensive, and most insurance companies do not cover the costs. So, in addition to the pain of not conceiving a baby each month, the couple pays out anywhere from $300 to five figures (10's of thousands of dollars), depending upon the treatment used.
A couple will eventually resolve the infertility problem in one of three ways:
They will eventually conceive a baby.
They will stop the infertility treatments and choose to live without children.
They will find an alternative way to parent, such as by adopting a child or becoming a foster parent.
Reaching a resolution can take years, so your infertile loved ones need your emotional support during this journey. Most people don’t know what to say, so they wind up saying the wrong thing, which only makes the journey so much harder for their loved ones. Knowing what not to say is half of the battle to providing support.
Don’t Tell Them to Relax
Everyone knows someone who had trouble conceiving but then finally became pregnant once she “relaxed.” Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of “relaxing” are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as “infertile” until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year. In fact, most infertility specialists will not treat a couple for infertility until they have tried to become pregnant for a year.
This year weeds out the people who aren’t infertile but just need to “relax.” Those that remain are truly infertile. Comments such as “just relax” or “try going on a cruise” create even more stress for the infertile couple, particularly the woman. The woman feels like she is doing something wrong when, in fact, there is a good chance that there is a physical problem preventing her from becoming pregnant.
These comments can also reach the point of absurdity. As a couple, my husband and I underwent two surgeries, numerous inseminations, hormone treatments, and four years of poking and prodding by doctors. Yet, people still continued to say things like, “If you just relaxed on a cruise . . .” Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem that must be treated by a doctor, and even with treatment, many couples will NEVER successfully conceive a child. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility.
Don’t Minimize the Problem
Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone’s life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy. Comments like, “Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.,” do not offer comfort.
Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn’t tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father’s Day or Mother’s Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn’t even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.
Don’t Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen
Along the same lines, don’t tell your friend that there are worse things that she could be going through. Who is the final authority on what is the “worst” thing that could happen to someone? Is it going through a divorce? Watching a loved one die? Getting raped? Losing a job?Different people react to different life experiences in different ways. To someone who has trained his whole life for the Olympics, the “worst” thing might be experiencing an injury the week before the event. To someone who has walked away from her career to become a stay-at-home wife for 40 years, watching her husband leave her for a younger woman might be the “worst” thing. And, to a woman whose sole goal in life has been to love and nurture a child, infertility may indeed be the “worst” thing that could happen.
People wouldn’t dream of telling someone whose parent just died, “It could be worse: both of your parents could be dead.” Such a comment would be considered cruel rather than comforting. In the same vein, don’t tell your friend that she could be going through worse things than infertility.
Don’t Say They Aren’t Meant to Be Parents
One of the cruelest things anyone ever said to me is, “Maybe God doesn’t intend for you to be a mother.” How incredibly insensitive to imply that I would be such a bad mother that God felt the need to divinely sterilize me. If God were in the business of divinely sterilizing women, don’t you think he would prevent the pregnancies that end in abortions? Or wouldn’t he sterilize the women who wind up neglecting and abusing their children? Even if you aren’t religious, the “maybe it’s not meant to be” comments are not comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature.
Don’t Ask Why They Aren’t Trying IVF
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a method in which the woman harvests multiple eggs, which are then combined with the man’s sperm in a petri dish. This is the method that can produce multiple births. People frequently ask, “Why don’t you just try IVF?” in the same casual tone they would use to ask, “Why don’t you try shopping at another store?”There are many reasons why a couple would choose not to pursue this option. Here are a few of them.
IVF is Expensive with Low Odds
One cycle of IVF is very expensive. With all of the hype in the news, many people assume that IVF is a sure thing when, in fact, the odds of success for each cycle are low. Most couples cannot afford to try for one month, much less for multiple times. Considering that it also costs a significant amount of money to adopt a baby, many couples opt for the “sure thing” rather then risking their money on much lower odds.
IVF is Physically Taxing
Undergoing IVF treatments is very rigorous. The woman must inject shots into her thigh daily to cause her ovaries to superovulate. The drugs used are very taxing on the woman, and they can cause her to be become extremely emotional.
IVF Raises Ethical Issues
Ironically, couples who undergo IVF to become parents may have to selectively abort one or more fetuses if multiple eggs are fertilized. Many couples cannot bring themselves to abort a baby when they have worked so hard to become parents. If the couple chooses not to selectively abort, they run the risk of multiple births.
Don’t Offer Unsolicited Opinions
If They Are Trying IVF On the flip side of the coin, don’t offer unsolicited advice to your friends who do choose to try IVF. For many couples, IVF is the only way they will ever give birth to a baby. This is a huge decision for them to make, for all of the reasons I outlined above.If the couple has resolved any ethical issues, don’t muddy the waters.
IVF is a gray area in many ethical circles, and many of our moral leaders don’t yet know how to answer the ethical questions that have arisen from this new technology. If the couple has resolved these issues already, you only make it harder by raising the ethical questions again. Respect their decision, and offer your support. If you can’t offer your support due to ethical differences of opinion, then say nothing.
A couple who chooses the IVF route has a hard, expensive road ahead, and they need your support more than ever. The hormones are no cakewalk, and the financial cost is enormous. Your friend would not be going this route if there were an easier way, and the fact that she is willing to endure so much is further proof of how much she truly wants to parent a child. The hormones will make her more emotional, so offer her your support and keep your questions to yourself.
Don’t Play Doctor
Once your infertile friends are under a doctor’s care, the doctor will run them through numerous tests to determine why they aren’t able to conceive. There a numerous reasons that a couple may not be able to conceive.
Here are a few of them:
Blocked fallopian tubes
Cysts
PCOS
Endometriosis
Low hormone levels
Low “normal form” sperm count
Low progesterone level
Low sperm count
Low sperm motility
Thin uterine walls
Infertility is a complicated problem to diagnose, and reading an article or book on infertility will not make you an “expert” on the subject. Let your friends work with their doctor to diagnose and treat the problem. Your friends probably already know more about the causes and solutions of infertility than you will ever know.
You may feel like you are being helpful by reading up on infertility, and there is nothing wrong with learning more about the subject. The problem comes when you try to “play doctor” with your friends. They already have a doctor with years of experience in diagnosing and treating the problem. They need to work with and trust their doctor to treat the problem. You only complicate the issue when you throw out other ideas that you have read about. The doctor knows more about the causes and solutions; let your friends work with their doctor to solve the problem.
Don’t Be Crude
It is appalling that I even have to include this paragraph, but some of you need to hear this-Don’t make crude jokes about your friend’s vulnerable position. Crude comments like “I’ll donate the sperm” or “Make sure the doctor uses your sperm for the insemination” are not funny, and they only irritate your friends.
Don’t Complain About Your Pregnancy
This message is for pregnant women-Just being around you is painful for your infertile friends. Seeing your belly grow is a constant reminder of what your infertile friend cannot have. Unless an infertile women plans to spend her life in a cave, she has to find a way to interact with pregnant women. However, there are things you can do as her friend to make it easier.
The number one rule is DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY. I understand from my friends that, when you are pregnant, your hormones are going crazy and you experience a lot of discomfort, such as queasiness, stretch marks, and fatigue. You have every right to vent about the discomforts to any one else in your life, but don’t put your infertile friend in the position of comforting you.
Your infertile friend would give anything to experience the discomforts you are enduring because those discomforts come from a baby growing inside of you. When I heard a pregnant woman complain about morning sickness, I would think, “I’d gladly throw up for nine straight months if it meant I could have a baby.” When a pregnant woman would complain about her weight gain, I would think, “I would cut off my arm if I could be in your shoes.”
I managed to go to baby showers and hospitals to welcome my friends’ new babies, but it was hard. Without exception, it was hard. Stay sensitive to your infertile friend’s emotions, and give her the leeway that she needs to be happy for you while she cries for herself. If she can’t bring herself to hold your new baby, give her time. She isn’t rejecting you or your new baby; she is just trying to work her way through her pain to show sincere joy for you. The fact that she is willing to endure such pain in order to celebrate your new baby with you speaks volumes about how much your friendship means to her.
[The malay version, stop saying things like “Nah Pegang la baby ni.. ambik berkat sket..” That was actually not comforting too. By just “holding” the baby doesn’t make sense of Berkat by logic. If that so, I would probably have been pregnant 3 times in a row, or more, cause I’ve been holding lotsof babies ever since everyone told me to ‘ambik berkat’ I like to hold babies, because I want to, not that I meant to hope that I will get the ‘berkat’”]
Don’t Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant
For some reason, some people seem to think that infertility causes a person to become unrealistic about the responsibilities of parenthood. I don’t follow the logic, but several people told me that I wouldn’t ache for a baby so much if I appreciated how much responsibility was involved in parenting.
Let’s face it- no one can fully appreciate the responsibilities involved in parenting until they are, themselves, parents. That is true whether you successfully conceived after one month or after 10 years. The length of time you spend waiting for that baby does not factor in to your appreciation of responsibility. If anything, people who have been trying to become pregnant longer have had more time to think about those responsibilities. They have also probably been around lots of babies as their friends started their families.
Perhaps part of what fuels this perception is that infertile couples have a longer time to “dream” about what being a parent will be like. Like every other couple, we have our fantasies-my child will sleep through the night, would never have a tantrum in public, and will always eat his vegetables. Let us have our fantasies. Those fantasies are some of the few parent-to-be perks that we have-let us have them. You can give us your knowing looks when we discover the truth later.
Don’t Gossip About Your Friend’s Condition
Infertility treatments are very private and embarrassing, which is why many couples choose to undergo these treatments in secret. Men especially are very sensitive to letting people know about infertility testing, such as sperm counts. Gossiping about infertility is not usually done in a malicious manner. The gossipers are usually well-meaning people who are only trying to find out more about infertility so they can help their loved ones.
Regardless of why you are sharing this information with someone else, it hurts and embarrasses your friend to find out that Madge the bank teller knows what your husband’s sperm count is and when your next period is expected. Infertility is something that should be kept as private as your friend wants to keep it. Respect your friend’s privacy, and don’t share any information that your friend hasn’t authorized.
Don’t Push Adoption (Yet)
Adoption is a wonderful way for infertile people to become parents. (As an adoptive parent, I can fully vouch for this!!) However, the couple needs to work through many issues before they will be ready to make an adoption decision. Before they can make the decision to love a “stranger’s baby,” they must first grieve the loss of that baby with Daddy’s eyes and Mommy’s nose.
Adoption social workers recognize the importance of the grieving process. When my husband and I went for our initial adoption interview, we expected the first question to be, “Why do you want to adopt a baby?” Instead, the question was, “Have you grieved the loss of your biological child yet?” Our social worker emphasized how important it is to shut one door before you open another.
You do, indeed, need to grieve this loss before you are ready to start the adoption process. The adoption process is very long and expensive, and it is not an easy road. So, the couple needs to be very sure that they can let go of the hope of a biological child and that they can love an adopted baby. This takes time, and some couples are never able to reach this point. If your friend cannot love a baby that isn’t her “own,” then adoption isn’t the right decision for her, and it is certainly not what is best for the baby.
Mentioning adoption in passing can be a comfort to some couples. (The only words that ever offered me comfort were from my sister, who said, “Whether through pregnancy or adoption, you will be a mother one day.”) However, “pushing” the issue can frustrate your friend. So, mention the idea in passing if it seems appropriate, and then drop it. When your friend is ready to talk about adoption, she will raise the issue.
So, what can you say to your infertile friends? Unless you say “I am giving you this baby,” there is nothing you can say that will erase their pain. So, take that pressure off of yourself. It isn’t your job to erase their pain, but there is a lot you can do to lesson the load. Here are a few ideas.
Let Them Know That You Care
The best thing you can do is let your infertile friends know that you care. Send them cards. Let them cry on your shoulder. If they are religious, let them know you are praying for them. Offer the same support you would offer a friend who has lost a loved one. Just knowing they can count on you to be there for them lightens the load and lets them know that they aren’t going through this alone.
Remember Them on Mother’s Day
With all of the activity on Mother’s Day, people tend to forget about women who cannot become mothers. Mother’s Day is an incredibly painful time for infertile women. You cannot get away from it-There are ads on the TV, posters at the stores, church sermons devoted to celebrating motherhood, and all of the plans for celebrating with your own mother and mother-in-law.
Mother’s Day is an important celebration and one that I relish now that I am a mother. However, it was very painful while I was waiting for my baby. Remember your infertile friends on Mother’s Day, and send them a card to let them know you are thinking of them. They will appreciate knowing that you haven’t “forgotten” them.
Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments
No couple can endure infertility treatments forever. At some point, they will stop. This is an agonizing decision to make, and it involves even more grief. Even if the couple chooses to adopt a baby, they must still first grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy’s nose and daddy’s eyes.
Once the couple has made the decision to stop treatments, support their decision. Don’t encourage them to try again, and don’t discourage them from adopting, if that is their choice. Once the couple has reached resolution (whether to live without children, adopt a child, or become foster parents), they can finally put that chapter of their lives behind them. Don’t try to open that chapter again.
August 18, 2011
Wasiat Rasullulah kepada Saidina Ali
Kali ni nak share wasiat Rasulullah saw kpd Saidina Ali pada malam dia nak nikah. Mari baca, sebab ada diantara info ini yang kita tidak tahu lansung, or anggap benda ni mcm 'kata org tua2' je. aku pon baru tau, jadi aku nak share dgn korang.
Taken from http://jalanakhirat.wordpress.com/2010/12/30/jimak-dan-wasiat-rasulullah-saw/
Filed under: Uncategorized — jalanakhirat @ 1:29 am
“Telah menceritakan kepada kami oleh ‘Amru bin Hafsah dan Abu Naar dari Muhammad bin Al-Haitham dari Ishak bin Hanjih, dari Husaif dari Mujahid daripada Al-Khudri yang berkata : “Rasulullah s.a.w. telah berwasiat kepada Saidina Ali bin Abi Talib r.a di mana baginda telah bersabda :
1. “Wahai Ali, bila pengantin perempuan masuk ke dalam rumahmu, maka (suruh ia) tanggalkan kasutnya ketika ia duduk dan (suruh ia) membasuh kedua-dua kakinya. Maka sesungguhnya apabila kamu berbuat demikian Allah mengeluarkan tujuh puluh ( 70 ) jenis kefaqiran dari rumah kamu, dan Allah s.w.t. menurunkan tujuh puluh ( 70 ) rahmat yang sentiasa menaungi di atas kepala pengantin sehingga sentiasa keberkatan itu meratai setiap penjuru rumahmu dan pengantin itu sejahtera da! ri penyakit gila, sawan (gila b**i) dan sopak selama mana ia berada di dalam rumah tersebut. Laranglah pengantin itu daripada memakan dan meminum empat ( 4 ) jenis makanan ini pada minggu pertama perkahwinan iaitu :
1. Susu
2. Cuka
3. Coriander (Ketumbar)
4. Apple Masam”
Saidina Ali r.a bertanya :
“Wahai Rasulullah, mengapakah empat jenis makanan ini di larang..?”
Baginda menjawab :
“Kerana rahim perempuan itu kering dan sejuk, dengan sebab dari empat perkara (makanan) ini untuk menghalang dari dapat anak. Sesungguhnya tikar di penjuru rumah adalah lebih baik daripada perempuan yang tidak dapat anak.” - Ya Allah, TIKAR di penjuru rumah adalah lebih baik daripada perempuan yang tidak dapat anak. Sedihnya statement ini. :-|
Saidina Ali r.a bertanya :
“Wahai rasulullah, mengapakah cuka itu di larang..? (semasa haid dan semasa minggu pertama perkahwinan) .”
Baginda menjawab :
“Apabila ia minum cuka semasa haid, sesungguhnya haidnya itu tidak akan bersih selama-lamanya secara sempurna.
Mengenai Coriander (ketumbar) ia mengganggu haid di dalam perutnya dan menyukarkan kepadanya kelahiran.
Tentang Apple masam, ia memotong haid sebelum masanya maka menjadikan haid itu berlalu begitu saja dengan sebabnya.”
2. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah engkau berjima’ dengan isterimu pada awal (hari pertama) bulan, pada pertengahannya (sehari) dan pada akhir (dua hari) di hujung bulan. Maka sesungguhnya penyakit gila, gila b**i dan sopak mudah mengenainya dan anaknya.”
3. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan isterimu selepas zohor, sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak kerana jima’ pada waktu itu, maka ia akan bermata juling dan syaitan sangat suka kepada manusia yang bermata juling.”
4. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah bercakap-cakap semasa jima’, sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak dengan jima’ yang demikian, maka anak itu tidak selamat daripada bisu.”
5. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah lihat kepada faraj perempuanmu dan jagalah pandanganmu sewaktu berjima’, (jika tidak) sesungguhnya mewarisi buta – iaitu anak.”
6. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan perempuanmu dengan syahwat terhadap perempuan lain, maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepadamu berdua anak, anak itu akan menjadi pondan yang bersifat benci dan hina.”
7. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjunub di tempat tidur, janganlah membaca Al-Quran, maka sesungguhnya aku bimbang akan turun kepada kamu berdua api (bala) dari langit yang membakar kamu berdua.”
8. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan isterimu kecuali ada padamu satu tuala dan pada isterimu satu tuala.”
9. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berdua menyapu dengan menggunakan satu tuala, nanti akan jatuh syahwat keatas syahwat (salah seorang akan kuat syahwatnya daripada yang lagi satu), maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu akan mengakibatkan permusuhan kemudian membawa kamu berdua kepada berpecah dan talak.”
10. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu secara berdiri, maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu daripada perbuatan kaldai, jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, maka anak itu sentiasa kencing di tempat tidur seperti kaldai yang suka kencing di merata-rata tempat.”
11. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam ‘Aidil Fitri (Raya Puasa), maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak anak itu seorang yang cacat dan tidak mendapat anak baginya kecuali sudah tua.”
12. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam ‘Aidil Adha, maka sesungguhnya jika kamu berdua berjima’ pada malam tersebut, apabila Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak aku bimbang ia akan menjadi seorang yang berjari enam atau empat.”
13. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu di bawah cahaya matahari (secara langsung – direct) dan terkena warna (cahayanya), kecuali kamu mengenakan tutupan (bumbung), jika tidak maka sesungguhnya kalau Allah mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti anak itu akan menjadi seorang sentiasa hidup dalam meminta-minta dan faqir sehingga mati.”
14. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu di bawah pohon kayu yang berbuah, maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kamu berdua anak, nanti anak itu akan menjadi seorang tukang gojo, tukang sebat atau seorang ketua yang bengis,”
15. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu sewaktu antara azan dan iqomah, jika berjima’ pada waktu demikian, sesungguhnya jika Allah mengurniakan anak pada kamu berdua, nanti ia menjadi seorang yang menumpahkan darah.”
16. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu semasa ia hamil kecuali kamu berdua berwudhu’, jika tidak maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kamu berdua anak, nanti ia akan menjadi seorang yang buta hati dan bakhil tangan.”
17. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada pertengahan (Nisfu) Sya’ban, maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kamu berdua anak,nanti anak itu akan mempunyai tanda yang jelek pada muka dan rambutnya.”
18. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada akhir bulan (yakni tinggal dua hari) maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak nanti anak tersebut menjadi seorang yang sentiasa perlu meminta-minta. “
19. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu dengan syahwat terhadap saudara perempuannya ! (ipar kamu) kerana yang demikian itu sesungguhnya kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti anak itu akan menjadi penolong dan pembantu kepada orang yang zalim dan pada tangannya membuat kebinasaan kepada manusia.”
20. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu di atas loteng maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan anak kepada kamu berdua nanti anak itu menjadi seorang munafiq, pelampau yang melewati batas.”
21. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam kamu hendak keluar musafir kerana yang demikian itu sesungguhnya kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, ia akan membelanjakan harta kepada yang tidak Haq,” dan Rasulullah s.a.w. membaca ayat Al-Quran : “Innal Mubazziriina kaanu – ikhwan Nas – Syayathin.”
22. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu bila kamu keluar bermusafir dalam tempoh tiga hari tiga malam, maka yang demikian itu sesungguhnya bil! a Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti ia menjadi seorang pembantu kepada setiap orang yang zalim.”
23. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada awal malam, maka sesungguhnya jika dikurniakan anak kepada kamu berdua, ia menjadi seorang tukang sihir, sunglap, dan menghendaki dunia daripada akhirat.”
24. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu bacalah : “Allahumma Jannibnis Syaitan Wajanibis Syaitan Mimma Rozaktani.” Maka yang demikian itu kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu anak, tidak dimudaratkan oleh syaitan terhadapnya selama-lamanya. “
25. “Wahai Ali..! hendaklah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Isnin maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, ia akan menjadi seorang yang berpegang teguh kepada kitab Allah (Al-Quran) dan redha terhadap segala pemberian Allah s.w.t. (baik d! an buruk Qada’ dan Qadar Allah).”
26. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Selasa, Allah s.w.t. akan memberi kepada kamu berdua anak yang mendapat nikmat Mati Syahid sesudah syahadah : ‘Anla ilahaillallah wa anna Muhammada ar-Rasulullah’ dan Allah s.w.t. tidak azabkannya (turun bala kepadanya) bersama-sama orang musyrikin, mulutnya berbau harum yang akan melembutkan hati orang, bersih lidahnya daripada mengumpat, berdusta dan mengadu-domba. “
27. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu malam Khamis, maka Allah s.w.t. akan mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak yang bijaksana, atau seorang yang alim,di kalangan orang-orang yang alim.”
28. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu sewaktu matahari di tengah langit, Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua seorang anak yang tidak di hampiri syaitan sehingga ia beruban (tua) dan menjadi seorang yang faqih serta Allah s.w.t. rezekikan kepadanya keselamatan agama dan dunia.”
29. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Jumaat dan nanti anak kamu berdua adalah seorang pemidato yang berwibawa dan petah.”
30. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada hari Jumaat, selepas Asar, Allah s.w.t. akan kurniakan seorang anak yang terkenal, masyhor dan alim.”
31. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Jumaat selepas Isyak yang akhir, maka sesungguhnya di harapkan anakmu nanti menjadi seorang yang abdal (terkemuka),
-----------------
Demikian wasiat Rasulullah SAW kpd Saidina Ali.
aku pun taktau lansung bab yg ni:
21. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam kamu hendak keluar musafir kerana yang demikian itu sesungguhnya kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, ia akan membelanjakan harta kepada yang tidak Haq,” dan Rasulullah s.a.w. membaca ayat Al-Quran : “Innal Mubazziriina kaanu – ikhwan Nas – Syayathin.”
22. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu bila kamu keluar bermusafir dalam tempoh tiga hari tiga malam, maka yang demikian itu sesungguhnya bila Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti ia menjadi seorang pembantu kepada setiap orang yang zalim.”
Aku bersyukur sebab Allah takjadikan janin yang mase aku gi Australia thn lepas. kononnya lepas hCG trigger, aku ovulate waktu aku sebelom nak gi Goldcoast tu. so timed intercourse tu ialah a few hours before pegi goldcoast. Rupanya dilarang oleh rasulullah, kalau jadi anak tu, maka jadi lah anak yang akan membelanjakan harta kpd yg tidak Haq, atau menjadi pembantu kpd setiap org yg zalim.
Memang, kalau kite taktau, dan kalau aku ditakdirkan pregnant mase tu, aku masih mampu berdoa supaya anak aku tidak akan jadi camtu,..semua ni adalah kuasa Allah, tapi kita sbg manusia harus berusaha..kali ni aku dah tau jadi Alhamdulillah, lepas ni aku boleh elak.
Jadi bagaimana dgn honeymoon? aku tanye laki aku, sbenanye takde istilah 'honeymoon' dalam islam. Jadi kalau betol nak plan buat anak mase honeymoon, dia kate kat atas ni 3hari 3 malam berturut2 kan..so 3hari tu gi la shopping ke ape2 dulu..hehehe, lepas 3hari baru la ON kot....laki aku ckp "ha pandai2 la fikir"
Taken from http://jalanakhirat.wordpress.com/2010/12/30/jimak-dan-wasiat-rasulullah-saw/
Jimak dan Wasiat Rasulullah saw
Filed under: Uncategorized — jalanakhirat @ 1:29 am
“Telah menceritakan kepada kami oleh ‘Amru bin Hafsah dan Abu Naar dari Muhammad bin Al-Haitham dari Ishak bin Hanjih, dari Husaif dari Mujahid daripada Al-Khudri yang berkata : “Rasulullah s.a.w. telah berwasiat kepada Saidina Ali bin Abi Talib r.a di mana baginda telah bersabda :
1. “Wahai Ali, bila pengantin perempuan masuk ke dalam rumahmu, maka (suruh ia) tanggalkan kasutnya ketika ia duduk dan (suruh ia) membasuh kedua-dua kakinya. Maka sesungguhnya apabila kamu berbuat demikian Allah mengeluarkan tujuh puluh ( 70 ) jenis kefaqiran dari rumah kamu, dan Allah s.w.t. menurunkan tujuh puluh ( 70 ) rahmat yang sentiasa menaungi di atas kepala pengantin sehingga sentiasa keberkatan itu meratai setiap penjuru rumahmu dan pengantin itu sejahtera da! ri penyakit gila, sawan (gila b**i) dan sopak selama mana ia berada di dalam rumah tersebut. Laranglah pengantin itu daripada memakan dan meminum empat ( 4 ) jenis makanan ini pada minggu pertama perkahwinan iaitu :
1. Susu
2. Cuka
3. Coriander (Ketumbar)
4. Apple Masam”
Saidina Ali r.a bertanya :
“Wahai Rasulullah, mengapakah empat jenis makanan ini di larang..?”
Baginda menjawab :
“Kerana rahim perempuan itu kering dan sejuk, dengan sebab dari empat perkara (makanan) ini untuk menghalang dari dapat anak. Sesungguhnya tikar di penjuru rumah adalah lebih baik daripada perempuan yang tidak dapat anak.” - Ya Allah, TIKAR di penjuru rumah adalah lebih baik daripada perempuan yang tidak dapat anak. Sedihnya statement ini. :-|
Saidina Ali r.a bertanya :
“Wahai rasulullah, mengapakah cuka itu di larang..? (semasa haid dan semasa minggu pertama perkahwinan) .”
Baginda menjawab :
“Apabila ia minum cuka semasa haid, sesungguhnya haidnya itu tidak akan bersih selama-lamanya secara sempurna.
Mengenai Coriander (ketumbar) ia mengganggu haid di dalam perutnya dan menyukarkan kepadanya kelahiran.
Tentang Apple masam, ia memotong haid sebelum masanya maka menjadikan haid itu berlalu begitu saja dengan sebabnya.”
2. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah engkau berjima’ dengan isterimu pada awal (hari pertama) bulan, pada pertengahannya (sehari) dan pada akhir (dua hari) di hujung bulan. Maka sesungguhnya penyakit gila, gila b**i dan sopak mudah mengenainya dan anaknya.”
3. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan isterimu selepas zohor, sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak kerana jima’ pada waktu itu, maka ia akan bermata juling dan syaitan sangat suka kepada manusia yang bermata juling.”
4. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah bercakap-cakap semasa jima’, sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak dengan jima’ yang demikian, maka anak itu tidak selamat daripada bisu.”
5. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah lihat kepada faraj perempuanmu dan jagalah pandanganmu sewaktu berjima’, (jika tidak) sesungguhnya mewarisi buta – iaitu anak.”
6. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan perempuanmu dengan syahwat terhadap perempuan lain, maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepadamu berdua anak, anak itu akan menjadi pondan yang bersifat benci dan hina.”
7. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjunub di tempat tidur, janganlah membaca Al-Quran, maka sesungguhnya aku bimbang akan turun kepada kamu berdua api (bala) dari langit yang membakar kamu berdua.”
8. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan isterimu kecuali ada padamu satu tuala dan pada isterimu satu tuala.”
9. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berdua menyapu dengan menggunakan satu tuala, nanti akan jatuh syahwat keatas syahwat (salah seorang akan kuat syahwatnya daripada yang lagi satu), maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu akan mengakibatkan permusuhan kemudian membawa kamu berdua kepada berpecah dan talak.”
10. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu secara berdiri, maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu daripada perbuatan kaldai, jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, maka anak itu sentiasa kencing di tempat tidur seperti kaldai yang suka kencing di merata-rata tempat.”
11. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam ‘Aidil Fitri (Raya Puasa), maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak anak itu seorang yang cacat dan tidak mendapat anak baginya kecuali sudah tua.”
12. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam ‘Aidil Adha, maka sesungguhnya jika kamu berdua berjima’ pada malam tersebut, apabila Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak aku bimbang ia akan menjadi seorang yang berjari enam atau empat.”
13. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu di bawah cahaya matahari (secara langsung – direct) dan terkena warna (cahayanya), kecuali kamu mengenakan tutupan (bumbung), jika tidak maka sesungguhnya kalau Allah mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti anak itu akan menjadi seorang sentiasa hidup dalam meminta-minta dan faqir sehingga mati.”
14. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu di bawah pohon kayu yang berbuah, maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kamu berdua anak, nanti anak itu akan menjadi seorang tukang gojo, tukang sebat atau seorang ketua yang bengis,”
15. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu sewaktu antara azan dan iqomah, jika berjima’ pada waktu demikian, sesungguhnya jika Allah mengurniakan anak pada kamu berdua, nanti ia menjadi seorang yang menumpahkan darah.”
16. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu semasa ia hamil kecuali kamu berdua berwudhu’, jika tidak maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kamu berdua anak, nanti ia akan menjadi seorang yang buta hati dan bakhil tangan.”
17. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada pertengahan (Nisfu) Sya’ban, maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kamu berdua anak,nanti anak itu akan mempunyai tanda yang jelek pada muka dan rambutnya.”
18. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada akhir bulan (yakni tinggal dua hari) maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak nanti anak tersebut menjadi seorang yang sentiasa perlu meminta-minta. “
19. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu dengan syahwat terhadap saudara perempuannya ! (ipar kamu) kerana yang demikian itu sesungguhnya kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti anak itu akan menjadi penolong dan pembantu kepada orang yang zalim dan pada tangannya membuat kebinasaan kepada manusia.”
20. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu di atas loteng maka sesungguhnya yang demikian itu jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan anak kepada kamu berdua nanti anak itu menjadi seorang munafiq, pelampau yang melewati batas.”
21. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam kamu hendak keluar musafir kerana yang demikian itu sesungguhnya kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, ia akan membelanjakan harta kepada yang tidak Haq,” dan Rasulullah s.a.w. membaca ayat Al-Quran : “Innal Mubazziriina kaanu – ikhwan Nas – Syayathin.”
22. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu bila kamu keluar bermusafir dalam tempoh tiga hari tiga malam, maka yang demikian itu sesungguhnya bil! a Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti ia menjadi seorang pembantu kepada setiap orang yang zalim.”
23. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada awal malam, maka sesungguhnya jika dikurniakan anak kepada kamu berdua, ia menjadi seorang tukang sihir, sunglap, dan menghendaki dunia daripada akhirat.”
24. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu bacalah : “Allahumma Jannibnis Syaitan Wajanibis Syaitan Mimma Rozaktani.” Maka yang demikian itu kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu anak, tidak dimudaratkan oleh syaitan terhadapnya selama-lamanya. “
25. “Wahai Ali..! hendaklah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Isnin maka sesungguhnya jika Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, ia akan menjadi seorang yang berpegang teguh kepada kitab Allah (Al-Quran) dan redha terhadap segala pemberian Allah s.w.t. (baik d! an buruk Qada’ dan Qadar Allah).”
26. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Selasa, Allah s.w.t. akan memberi kepada kamu berdua anak yang mendapat nikmat Mati Syahid sesudah syahadah : ‘Anla ilahaillallah wa anna Muhammada ar-Rasulullah’ dan Allah s.w.t. tidak azabkannya (turun bala kepadanya) bersama-sama orang musyrikin, mulutnya berbau harum yang akan melembutkan hati orang, bersih lidahnya daripada mengumpat, berdusta dan mengadu-domba. “
27. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu malam Khamis, maka Allah s.w.t. akan mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak yang bijaksana, atau seorang yang alim,di kalangan orang-orang yang alim.”
28. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu sewaktu matahari di tengah langit, Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua seorang anak yang tidak di hampiri syaitan sehingga ia beruban (tua) dan menjadi seorang yang faqih serta Allah s.w.t. rezekikan kepadanya keselamatan agama dan dunia.”
29. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Jumaat dan nanti anak kamu berdua adalah seorang pemidato yang berwibawa dan petah.”
30. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada hari Jumaat, selepas Asar, Allah s.w.t. akan kurniakan seorang anak yang terkenal, masyhor dan alim.”
31. “Wahai Ali..! jika kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam Jumaat selepas Isyak yang akhir, maka sesungguhnya di harapkan anakmu nanti menjadi seorang yang abdal (terkemuka),
-----------------
Demikian wasiat Rasulullah SAW kpd Saidina Ali.
aku pun taktau lansung bab yg ni:
21. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu pada malam kamu hendak keluar musafir kerana yang demikian itu sesungguhnya kalau Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, ia akan membelanjakan harta kepada yang tidak Haq,” dan Rasulullah s.a.w. membaca ayat Al-Quran : “Innal Mubazziriina kaanu – ikhwan Nas – Syayathin.”
22. “Wahai Ali..! janganlah kamu berjima’ dengan isterimu bila kamu keluar bermusafir dalam tempoh tiga hari tiga malam, maka yang demikian itu sesungguhnya bila Allah s.w.t. mengurniakan kepada kamu berdua anak, nanti ia menjadi seorang pembantu kepada setiap orang yang zalim.”
Aku bersyukur sebab Allah takjadikan janin yang mase aku gi Australia thn lepas. kononnya lepas hCG trigger, aku ovulate waktu aku sebelom nak gi Goldcoast tu. so timed intercourse tu ialah a few hours before pegi goldcoast. Rupanya dilarang oleh rasulullah, kalau jadi anak tu, maka jadi lah anak yang akan membelanjakan harta kpd yg tidak Haq, atau menjadi pembantu kpd setiap org yg zalim.
Memang, kalau kite taktau, dan kalau aku ditakdirkan pregnant mase tu, aku masih mampu berdoa supaya anak aku tidak akan jadi camtu,..semua ni adalah kuasa Allah, tapi kita sbg manusia harus berusaha..kali ni aku dah tau jadi Alhamdulillah, lepas ni aku boleh elak.
Jadi bagaimana dgn honeymoon? aku tanye laki aku, sbenanye takde istilah 'honeymoon' dalam islam. Jadi kalau betol nak plan buat anak mase honeymoon, dia kate kat atas ni 3hari 3 malam berturut2 kan..so 3hari tu gi la shopping ke ape2 dulu..hehehe, lepas 3hari baru la ON kot....laki aku ckp "ha pandai2 la fikir"
July 8, 2011
The Do's and Don'ts of Having an Infertile Friend
taken from this blog --> From Here to Fertility
The Do's and Don'ts of Having an Infertile Friend...
This entry is written for family and friends, old and new, who may have a sneaking suspicion that DH and I are having problems. It's not easy to admit that this is happening, nor is it easy to talk about. I would like to share with you my innermost feelings so that our relationship might whether this storm - because at the end of the day, you are important to me.
Infertility is a reality for us right now. Some of you might be shocked at the use of this word, but one in six couples experiences infertility - it's more common than you think. When you are around me, please keep the following thoughts in your heart -
Don't ask me if I'm pregnant, or speculate with others. This hurts me more than you could ever know. Plus, it makes me feel fat. When the time comes, I'll share the blessed news. But being asked all the time if I am pregnant is a constant reminder that I am NOT.
Don't feel compelled to share the latest "get pregnant" trick. Believe me, we've tried them all. Putting my feet up. Simultaneous orgasms. Drinking raspberry leaf tea. OPK sticks. Fertility monitors. Pineapple juice. Vitamin B. Acupuncture. Chinese herbs. Cutting out caffeine. Going on a vacation. If I had a dollar for every trick we've tried, we could afford to travel in Europe for the summer.
Don't tell me to relax. Until you've suffered the sorrow of trying fruitlessly for years, you'll never know the anxiety and the stress that yet another period causes. The fear of not being able to have a child can be all encompassing. There's nothing relaxing about seeing everyone around you get pregnant, or attending the tenth baby shower of the year, after having looked at yet another negative HPT. Relaxing is impossible.
Don't tell me I can always adopt. It's easy for many of you to say; you've likely felt the joy of feeling your baby kick you for the first time, or marveled at the way your baby giggles just like his daddy. Your mother has probably said to you "She has her great-grandma's dimples!", or your father has said "He has his mama's temper!" These are the things that I want to experience. Adoption isn't right for everyone.
If you are pregnant, don't tell me that you're ready for it to be over. Right now, I would kill for the chance to have swollen feet or heartburn. I would love to feel the goo of the ultrasound gel on my big belly. I'd revel at being able to actually wear maternity clothes, not just touch them and wish. Don't take for granted your pregnancy - it really is a miracle.
If you are pregnant, please don't share every detail with me. While I really am happy for you, it doesn't help me to hear all about the things that I fear I will never get to experience. Don't tell me that you could feel your baby being conceived, or that your cravings are getting stronger, or that your prenatal yoga classes are making your baby dance in your tummy. It'll just make me feel guilty that I feel sad about your happiness.
Don't tell me that you feel sorry for me when we are at a baby shower. I don't need your pity. I need your understanding. I need your distraction. I need your love and support. I need your shoulder to cry on, or your ear to bend. I need you to be a friend.
Which brings me to the "Do's" of having an infertile friend...
Do ask me how I'm doing and let me know that you are there to listen.
Do give me the time and space to share when I want to, and if I want to. Respect my privacy and refrain from judging.
Do help me by distracting me with your friendship. Meet me for a coffee. Take me window shopping. Gossip with me on the phone. Do everything you can NOT to avoid me. I need your support.
It's as simple as that. Just help me to feel loved right now, because I really need it. This has been one of the most isolating times in my life. And I'm not sure it'll ever be over...
---
SUKA gila, itu pon dpt drp sini Mrs A Hehe! Thanks for sharing the link. Blog orang yang tulis ni pon mcm best je nak baca. shes been struggling since 2008...wow.. Its good to know that ure not alone. Really.
Blog tu blog matsaleh, so mmg la dia slalu gi babyshower semua..kita jarang ada babyshower. aku takpenah pon pegi or dijemput ke babyshower...tapi cukor jambul, yes. mmg adat kita. Yeah, majlis cukor jambul pon aku byk avoid. which i know is not good. kdg2 aku kaji dulu, siapa yg menjemput itu. kalo dah mmg kwn2 rapat, aku tau kwn2 rapat takkan annoy aku dgn soalan2 pregnancy lagi. tapi kalau sdara2 yg dah lame xjumpe of kos diorg akan tanya benda tu. aku tak pegi kazen aku nye cukur jambol aritu, aku ckp laki aku keje. sbenanye aku sgt tipu :( takbaik kan. tapi, aku nak elak drp sakit hati dan benci org, jadi aku terpakse buat camtu..korang takkan paham.
jadi utk buang rase bersalah tu aku belikan hadiah untuk dia. so aku kirim kan hadiah tu kat bapak aku je.
aku sgt stuju dgn "If ur pregnant, dont tell me that ur ready for it to be over." betol. aku slalu sgt dengar mende ni, dgr komplen2 ni drp org2 yg pregnant. aku paham, kite mmg nak express feeling tu tp cube jgn buat bende tu mcm satu seksaan buat korang, cube korang appreciate sket simptom2 pregnant tu sbb korang sebenanye sgt untung kerana dpt experience bende tu. sbb bukan nye forever pon.for only 9 months je kot.
tapi kesimpulannya dia tu omputeh..hehe part ni aku bersyukor la aku dilahirkan sbg Islam sbb aku bersyukor sebenarnya, mmg aku sgt nak anak, siape yg taknak? (eh ade tapi susah la nak cari, leh kire dgn jari org yg taknak anak ni. normally org yg taknak anak ni akan regret ade anak lepas die 'beranak'.) Tapi aku syukor atas kenikmatan dunia yg Allah dah bagi, sgt cukop. Kalau ada rezeki dia akan bagi, tunggu saja....
Semalam aku n laki aku lepak kat subang dgn epul+alin..saje jalan2..laki aku terserempak dgn kwn lama dia mase skolah teknik dulu..borak punye borak, member die tu tanya
"ko dah ada anak ke along?"
"belom rezeki lagi la..ko?"
"belom gak...ko dah brape tahon kawin?"
"2 tahon lebeh"
"aku 6 tahon beb...hmm takpe la redho jer"
kewl, 1st time dgr perbualan lelaki yg tanye2 psl ni..slalu pompuan je kene. kwn laki aku tu teros kata "rilek je la weh, nak wat camana dpt lambat..aku lagik lama tunggu...xde gak..takleh wat ape dah lom rezeki"
hm..
The Do's and Don'ts of Having an Infertile Friend...
This entry is written for family and friends, old and new, who may have a sneaking suspicion that DH and I are having problems. It's not easy to admit that this is happening, nor is it easy to talk about. I would like to share with you my innermost feelings so that our relationship might whether this storm - because at the end of the day, you are important to me.
Infertility is a reality for us right now. Some of you might be shocked at the use of this word, but one in six couples experiences infertility - it's more common than you think. When you are around me, please keep the following thoughts in your heart -
Don't ask me if I'm pregnant, or speculate with others. This hurts me more than you could ever know. Plus, it makes me feel fat. When the time comes, I'll share the blessed news. But being asked all the time if I am pregnant is a constant reminder that I am NOT.
Don't feel compelled to share the latest "get pregnant" trick. Believe me, we've tried them all. Putting my feet up. Simultaneous orgasms. Drinking raspberry leaf tea. OPK sticks. Fertility monitors. Pineapple juice. Vitamin B. Acupuncture. Chinese herbs. Cutting out caffeine. Going on a vacation. If I had a dollar for every trick we've tried, we could afford to travel in Europe for the summer.
Don't tell me to relax. Until you've suffered the sorrow of trying fruitlessly for years, you'll never know the anxiety and the stress that yet another period causes. The fear of not being able to have a child can be all encompassing. There's nothing relaxing about seeing everyone around you get pregnant, or attending the tenth baby shower of the year, after having looked at yet another negative HPT. Relaxing is impossible.
Don't tell me I can always adopt. It's easy for many of you to say; you've likely felt the joy of feeling your baby kick you for the first time, or marveled at the way your baby giggles just like his daddy. Your mother has probably said to you "She has her great-grandma's dimples!", or your father has said "He has his mama's temper!" These are the things that I want to experience. Adoption isn't right for everyone.
If you are pregnant, don't tell me that you're ready for it to be over. Right now, I would kill for the chance to have swollen feet or heartburn. I would love to feel the goo of the ultrasound gel on my big belly. I'd revel at being able to actually wear maternity clothes, not just touch them and wish. Don't take for granted your pregnancy - it really is a miracle.
If you are pregnant, please don't share every detail with me. While I really am happy for you, it doesn't help me to hear all about the things that I fear I will never get to experience. Don't tell me that you could feel your baby being conceived, or that your cravings are getting stronger, or that your prenatal yoga classes are making your baby dance in your tummy. It'll just make me feel guilty that I feel sad about your happiness.
Don't tell me that you feel sorry for me when we are at a baby shower. I don't need your pity. I need your understanding. I need your distraction. I need your love and support. I need your shoulder to cry on, or your ear to bend. I need you to be a friend.
Which brings me to the "Do's" of having an infertile friend...
Do ask me how I'm doing and let me know that you are there to listen.
Do give me the time and space to share when I want to, and if I want to. Respect my privacy and refrain from judging.
Do help me by distracting me with your friendship. Meet me for a coffee. Take me window shopping. Gossip with me on the phone. Do everything you can NOT to avoid me. I need your support.
It's as simple as that. Just help me to feel loved right now, because I really need it. This has been one of the most isolating times in my life. And I'm not sure it'll ever be over...
---
SUKA gila, itu pon dpt drp sini Mrs A Hehe! Thanks for sharing the link. Blog orang yang tulis ni pon mcm best je nak baca. shes been struggling since 2008...wow.. Its good to know that ure not alone. Really.
Blog tu blog matsaleh, so mmg la dia slalu gi babyshower semua..kita jarang ada babyshower. aku takpenah pon pegi or dijemput ke babyshower...tapi cukor jambul, yes. mmg adat kita. Yeah, majlis cukor jambul pon aku byk avoid. which i know is not good. kdg2 aku kaji dulu, siapa yg menjemput itu. kalo dah mmg kwn2 rapat, aku tau kwn2 rapat takkan annoy aku dgn soalan2 pregnancy lagi. tapi kalau sdara2 yg dah lame xjumpe of kos diorg akan tanya benda tu. aku tak pegi kazen aku nye cukur jambol aritu, aku ckp laki aku keje. sbenanye aku sgt tipu :( takbaik kan. tapi, aku nak elak drp sakit hati dan benci org, jadi aku terpakse buat camtu..korang takkan paham.
jadi utk buang rase bersalah tu aku belikan hadiah untuk dia. so aku kirim kan hadiah tu kat bapak aku je.
aku sgt stuju dgn "If ur pregnant, dont tell me that ur ready for it to be over." betol. aku slalu sgt dengar mende ni, dgr komplen2 ni drp org2 yg pregnant. aku paham, kite mmg nak express feeling tu tp cube jgn buat bende tu mcm satu seksaan buat korang, cube korang appreciate sket simptom2 pregnant tu sbb korang sebenanye sgt untung kerana dpt experience bende tu. sbb bukan nye forever pon.for only 9 months je kot.
tapi kesimpulannya dia tu omputeh..hehe part ni aku bersyukor la aku dilahirkan sbg Islam sbb aku bersyukor sebenarnya, mmg aku sgt nak anak, siape yg taknak? (eh ade tapi susah la nak cari, leh kire dgn jari org yg taknak anak ni. normally org yg taknak anak ni akan regret ade anak lepas die 'beranak'.) Tapi aku syukor atas kenikmatan dunia yg Allah dah bagi, sgt cukop. Kalau ada rezeki dia akan bagi, tunggu saja....
Semalam aku n laki aku lepak kat subang dgn epul+alin..saje jalan2..laki aku terserempak dgn kwn lama dia mase skolah teknik dulu..borak punye borak, member die tu tanya
"ko dah ada anak ke along?"
"belom rezeki lagi la..ko?"
"belom gak...ko dah brape tahon kawin?"
"2 tahon lebeh"
"aku 6 tahon beb...hmm takpe la redho jer"
kewl, 1st time dgr perbualan lelaki yg tanye2 psl ni..slalu pompuan je kene. kwn laki aku tu teros kata "rilek je la weh, nak wat camana dpt lambat..aku lagik lama tunggu...xde gak..takleh wat ape dah lom rezeki"
hm..
July 7, 2011
PCOS Puzzle Solved by Twin Sisters - INTERESTING!
PCOSers, please read.
taken from http://www.ovarian-cysts-pcos.com/news87.html
1) ) Jenn and Her Identical Twin Sister Solve PCOS Puzzle
Have you read Jenn's amazing story?
Jenn had normal cycles starting at age 13 until age 22 when she started birth control pills. When she stopped the birth control pills, her period did not come back.
Her doctor diagnosed her as having PCOS, even though Jenn was thin and didn't have all the symptoms of PCOS.
Jenn ate a healthy, low-glycemic diet. She exercised. She took supplements.
Jenn was doing everything right. Still no ovulation and no baby.
Fortunately, Jenn has an identical twin sister, who also stopped the pill. Like Jenn, her sister also consumed a healthy diet and exercised.
The two women had identical genes and a very similar diet and lifestyle.
The difference was that Jenn's sister had no trouble ovulating after getting off the pill. But Jenn could not ovulate.
The two sisters sat down to analyze their lives in detail to try to find out why identical twins with identical genes and such a similar lifestyle would have ovaries that behave so differently.
Finally, they hit upon something. Jenn's sister was a sun bather but Jenn avoided the sun and had pale skin. Since it was May, Jenn decided to lay out in the sun with her sister.
One month later, she ovulated! Sunlight helps the body to manufacture vitamin D. In addition to the 600 IU of vitamin D she was already taking in the d-pinitol formula, she started taking an additional 2,000 IU of vitamin D. Apparently, vitamin D was the "missing link" to Jenn's ability to ovulate.
Jenn continued with a normal cycle and became pregnant eight months later!
What are the lessons from Jenn's story?
1) Your environment is a determining factor in how successful you are in dealing with polycystic ovary syndrome and infertility. This includes the food you eat, the water you drink, your physical activity, the people you associate with, your physical environment and exposure to pollution, and your general lifestyle.
2) Nutritional supplements play a role in getting the results you want but it's not always clear which supplements would be most effective or which dosage would be most effective. There is some trial and error involved.
3) Never give up! Persist with exploring treatment options beyond pharmaceuticals. In Jenn's case, she did not need more birth control pills or metformin or other drugs. What she needed was more vitamin D.
---
Kay, belum try lagi ambik supplement vitamin D/calcium sebab rasa2 mcm takde masalah kekurangan calcium sbb aku suka minum susu. tambah2 lagi Anelene penah dtg sini bagi free check calcium n aku nye calcium tip-top, tapi tattau la vitamin D kan? sunlight mcm mmg slalu kena je sbb malaysia ni mmg panas. hehe tattau la kan sbb vitamin D drp matahari ni slalu yg mase pagi2 tu...aku waktu keje pagi2 belum kene sunlight sgt dah masok ofis sampai tgh hari baru keluar..mgkin ?.so mgkin gak tak kene vit D matahari tu? hehehe
ok. bleh cuba yg ini pulak.
next...............?
taken from http://www.ovarian-cysts-pcos.com/news87.html
1) ) Jenn and Her Identical Twin Sister Solve PCOS Puzzle
Have you read Jenn's amazing story?
Jenn had normal cycles starting at age 13 until age 22 when she started birth control pills. When she stopped the birth control pills, her period did not come back.
Her doctor diagnosed her as having PCOS, even though Jenn was thin and didn't have all the symptoms of PCOS.
Jenn ate a healthy, low-glycemic diet. She exercised. She took supplements.
Jenn was doing everything right. Still no ovulation and no baby.
Fortunately, Jenn has an identical twin sister, who also stopped the pill. Like Jenn, her sister also consumed a healthy diet and exercised.
The two women had identical genes and a very similar diet and lifestyle.
The difference was that Jenn's sister had no trouble ovulating after getting off the pill. But Jenn could not ovulate.
The two sisters sat down to analyze their lives in detail to try to find out why identical twins with identical genes and such a similar lifestyle would have ovaries that behave so differently.
Finally, they hit upon something. Jenn's sister was a sun bather but Jenn avoided the sun and had pale skin. Since it was May, Jenn decided to lay out in the sun with her sister.
One month later, she ovulated! Sunlight helps the body to manufacture vitamin D. In addition to the 600 IU of vitamin D she was already taking in the d-pinitol formula, she started taking an additional 2,000 IU of vitamin D. Apparently, vitamin D was the "missing link" to Jenn's ability to ovulate.
Jenn continued with a normal cycle and became pregnant eight months later!
What are the lessons from Jenn's story?
1) Your environment is a determining factor in how successful you are in dealing with polycystic ovary syndrome and infertility. This includes the food you eat, the water you drink, your physical activity, the people you associate with, your physical environment and exposure to pollution, and your general lifestyle.
2) Nutritional supplements play a role in getting the results you want but it's not always clear which supplements would be most effective or which dosage would be most effective. There is some trial and error involved.
3) Never give up! Persist with exploring treatment options beyond pharmaceuticals. In Jenn's case, she did not need more birth control pills or metformin or other drugs. What she needed was more vitamin D.
---
Kay, belum try lagi ambik supplement vitamin D/calcium sebab rasa2 mcm takde masalah kekurangan calcium sbb aku suka minum susu. tambah2 lagi Anelene penah dtg sini bagi free check calcium n aku nye calcium tip-top, tapi tattau la vitamin D kan? sunlight mcm mmg slalu kena je sbb malaysia ni mmg panas. hehe tattau la kan sbb vitamin D drp matahari ni slalu yg mase pagi2 tu...aku waktu keje pagi2 belum kene sunlight sgt dah masok ofis sampai tgh hari baru keluar..mgkin ?.so mgkin gak tak kene vit D matahari tu? hehehe
ok. bleh cuba yg ini pulak.
next...............?
May 31, 2011
Interesting - LH and hCG
Aku suke pegi website ni skang www.peeonastick.com
Semua pasal pregnancy test n ovulation predictor test. byk gambar2 test kit. hahaha.
Astu ada info psl OPK. since aku heran aku dpt positive OPK smlm, aku bace la sket. rupenye, org yg pregnant pon akan dpt positive OPK, sebab LH dan hCG ni molecule2 nya lebih kurang.
"OPK's detect LH (luteinizing hormone) which is the hormone associated with ovulation. Pregnancy tests detect hCG, the hormone associated with pregnancy. LH and hCG are, at a molecular level, nearly identical. hCG has a beta subunit, meaning it has an extra little "doodad." To use a stupid but easy to understand example, LH and hCG are identical twins, except that hCG wears a funny hat."
Cute kan! So aku paham skang ni kenape nak trigger ovulation, kite diberi HCG trigger. mule2 aku mmg takpaham lansong,mcm mana hormon pregnancy boleh boost ovulation pulak?? rupenye, hCG and LH are aLMOST the same. (tapi nape takde LH trigger? Gynecology is such a mystery)
so hCG makes the body ovulate. and its the same hormon as pregnancy too. so sbb tu kalau baru kena hcg trigger, kena tunggu betol2 period due baru leh buat pregnancy test sbb takot dpt false positive.
jadi kalau pregnant, OPK can detect since the hormon lebih kurang, tapi kalau guna HPT, it only detects 'the hat' so kalau the 'hat' is not present, kita dapat negative. Utk lebih lanjut pegi terus page tu.
SO, i do have enough LH yesterday, and yes, rugi kalau tak 'baby-dance' haha! im lucky he's in a good mood yesterday. eh sorry to much info ;P
Semua pasal pregnancy test n ovulation predictor test. byk gambar2 test kit. hahaha.
Astu ada info psl OPK. since aku heran aku dpt positive OPK smlm, aku bace la sket. rupenye, org yg pregnant pon akan dpt positive OPK, sebab LH dan hCG ni molecule2 nya lebih kurang.
"OPK's detect LH (luteinizing hormone) which is the hormone associated with ovulation. Pregnancy tests detect hCG, the hormone associated with pregnancy. LH and hCG are, at a molecular level, nearly identical. hCG has a beta subunit, meaning it has an extra little "doodad." To use a stupid but easy to understand example, LH and hCG are identical twins, except that hCG wears a funny hat."
Cute kan! So aku paham skang ni kenape nak trigger ovulation, kite diberi HCG trigger. mule2 aku mmg takpaham lansong,mcm mana hormon pregnancy boleh boost ovulation pulak?? rupenye, hCG and LH are aLMOST the same. (tapi nape takde LH trigger? Gynecology is such a mystery)
so hCG makes the body ovulate. and its the same hormon as pregnancy too. so sbb tu kalau baru kena hcg trigger, kena tunggu betol2 period due baru leh buat pregnancy test sbb takot dpt false positive.
jadi kalau pregnant, OPK can detect since the hormon lebih kurang, tapi kalau guna HPT, it only detects 'the hat' so kalau the 'hat' is not present, kita dapat negative. Utk lebih lanjut pegi terus page tu.
SO, i do have enough LH yesterday, and yes, rugi kalau tak 'baby-dance' haha! im lucky he's in a good mood yesterday. eh sorry to much info ;P
May 19, 2011
CD15
Wah, kalau betol boleh ikot tepat2 mcm ticker atas ni, alangkah senangnya. Aku tak sure aku dah ovulate ke tak, kalau ikotkan lining, dr delaila kate belum waktu subur, tapi itu isnin lepas (16/5/2011) hari ini khamis, like doc said, mgkin dah subur waktu ni. semalam temp aku drop, kalau betul aku ovulate temp aku kene mendadak naik hari ini. tapi die naik sket je. kelakar la kdg2 hormon pompuan ni. so aku taktau apekah maksudnye. estrogen tgh high skang tu pasti, sebab muke aku naik jerawat. bile nak ovulate, estrogen akan high. itu yg aku tau. tapi lepas temp tu drop (drop means estrogen is high) patutnye die naik mendadak. jadi jika die naik sket tu ape maksud?
iskkk
HA apekah maksudnye?
patut harini kene gi checkup lagi...aku duit dah la kering. taktau nak gi ke tak. pegi pon semata2 check follicles je nih..kalau besar doc maybe akan inject hcg..kalau taknak buleh ke eh? hehehe, adekah kite akan ovulate jugak without the hcg trigger. sape tau?
aku rase maybe follies yg blah kiri ni dah grown bigger kot sbb smlm sakit, harini pun sakit. aku rase mcm ni bile makan ubat subor je, kalau tak mmg xpenah rase. nampak sgt jarang gile aku ovulate seumor hidup aku..
smlm aku gi guardian time lunch..beli B Complex (21st Century). before ni aku ambik B Executive, tapi bile tgk betol2 jumlah mg dan jenis B vitamins yg ada dlm B Complex, its better than B Executive sbb yg aku beli ni, selain B1 B2 B3 B5 B6 B12, ada Inositol (B8) and PABA (Para Amino blablablabla lupe xingat) these are the benefits of both of them for PCOS.
Inositol and PCOS (article)
Inositol may be important for PCOS women for at least three reasons:
* It may aid insulin action and thus reduce insulin resistance.
* It may help to relieve depression, which is common in polycystic ovary syndrome.
* It helps your liver to metabolize fat.
Inositol is a compound that has nine different forms. The most well-known and nutritionally active form is "myo-inositol", which most people simply refer to as "inositol". It is a necessary component of the membranes of your cells and is vital to many biological processes in your body. It is a precursor to a number of essential "signaling molecules" that instruct cells how to behave.
Some of inositol's signaling is related to activation of serotonin receptors, which could relieve depression and improve appetite balance. Serotonin is a brain chemical with several important functions in the body, including mood and appetite regulation.
Inositol is also a fat-solublizing agent that helps to transport fat from the liver. For those overweight PCOS women who may have a problem with fatty liver congestion, inositol can be helpful.
Although inositol is widely thought of as a member of the B-vitamin family, it is technically not a vitamin because the body can manufacture inositol and is not required to get it from the diet.
PABA (Para Amino Benzoic Acid)
PABA is a B Complex vitamin that is synthesized in the body. PABA is believed to increase the ability of estrogen to facilitate fertility and increases the ability of some infertile women to become pregnant. A clinical trial reported that 12 of 16 previously infertile women were able to become pregnant after supplementing with PABA over several months.
yg lain boleh just google, byk sgt info. before ni aku ambik B Executive, takde dua benda ni...hm try pulak kalini tgk mcm mana.
susahnye nak pregnant kan. takpe la, tuhan nak uji. probs aku bukan la complicated mana. agak complicated kdg2 sbb aku xpaham dgn body system sendiri tapi sebenanye sebab2 aku susah pregnant yg telah 'dikenalpasti' adalah:
1. Polycystic Ovaries.
2. Follicles kecik2, tak matang.
3. Progesterone & Estrogen yang tak balance yang menyebabkan 2 perkara di atas.
4. Insulin Resistant - dan menyebabnye berlakunya 3 perkara di atas.
im 27, still young, how to solve the probs above??
masih ada 3 years sebelom 30tahun, where chances akan berkurang,..tapi kita taktau tuhan nak kasi mcm mana. tah2 lepas 30tahun aku baru subur?
no one knows..
December 28, 2010
Blood group can affect fertility, study reveals.
Something u might want to know, sbb aku suddenly terfikir, what if my blood type and husband's blood type mmg tak ngam? Not sure kalau ia berkaitan dgn kesukaran nak mengandung. then aku saje google, lain yg aku jumpe, which, will be an answer why is it so difficult for me to get pregnant. Sila baca, mane tau anda pon sama.
ape2 pon, semua ini adalah Kuasa Allah swt.
taken from http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/oct/25/pregnancy-fertility-problems-blood-group
A woman's blood type could affect her fertility and influence her chances of getting pregnant, scientists have found.
A woman's blood group could influence her chances of getting pregnant, scientists have found.
Those with blood type O may struggle to conceive due to a lower egg count and poorer egg quality, while those with blood group A seem to be more fertile.
More than 560 women with an average age of 35 undergoing fertility treatment took part in the research, led by experts from Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York and Yale University.
Blood samples were taken to measure levels of follicle stimulating hormone (FSH), a known marker of fertility.
FSH levels greater than 10 suggest a woman will have more difficulty conceiving than those whose levels are under 10.
A high FSH level indicates a diminished ovarian reserve, which refers to both egg quality and the number of eggs left available for fertilisation.
Ovarian reserve tends to decline significantly as a woman reaches her middle and late 30s and faster in the early 40s.
The study found that women who were blood type O were twice as likely to have an FSH level greater than 10 as those in any other blood group. The findings held true even when a woman's age was taken into account and the fact the women came from two different clinics.
Meanwhile, those with blood group A were "significantly less likely" to have an FSH level greater than 10 than those who were blood group O.
Some 44% of the UK population are blood group O and 42% are type A.
People with blood group A carry the A antigen, which is a protein on the surface of the cell, but this is absent in people with O type.
Dr Edward Nejat, from the department of obstetrics and gynaecology at Albert Einstein College, is presenting his findings at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) conference in Denver.
He said: "In both groups of women that were seeking fertility treatment, those with blood type O were twice as likely to have an FSH level over 10 than those with blood types other than O.
"We found that women with A and AB – women with the A blood group gene – were protected from this effect of diminished ovarian reserve.
"From the population we studied, and the fact it was two different centres and there was a good mix of patients ethnically and racially, we can say that blood type O was associated with an FSH level greater than 10 in women seeking infertility evaluation and/or treatment.
"Patients with blood type O seeking infertility evaluation at these centres have a higher likelihood to be diagnosed with elevated FSH and hence manifest diminished ovarian reserve."
Nejat said FSH levels were just one marker of fertility and more studies were needed."A woman's age remains the most important factor in determining her success of conceiving.
"The baseline FSH gives us an idea of the quality and quantity of a woman's eggs."
Tony Rutherford, chair of the British Fertility Society, said: "This is the first time that I'm aware of that researchers have shown a link between blood group and potential for fertility."
However, he said there were other hormones that predicted diminished ovarian reserve which were also important to assess.
"This is interesting and it shows a potential link but we really need to look at it with these other, more up to date tests of ovarian reserve."
Rutherford said a bigger study would need to be carried out in the general population to see if blood group caused potential problems for all women trying to conceive.
"We need to look at a prospective group of women to see if blood group affects your chance of getting pregnant," he said. "This needs further exploration."
-----
MY BLOOD TYPE: O
husband's: AB
ape2 pon, semua ini adalah Kuasa Allah swt.
taken from http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/oct/25/pregnancy-fertility-problems-blood-group
A woman's blood type could affect her fertility and influence her chances of getting pregnant, scientists have found.
- Press Association
- The Guardian, Monday 25 October 2010
A woman's blood group could influence her chances of getting pregnant, scientists have found.
Those with blood type O may struggle to conceive due to a lower egg count and poorer egg quality, while those with blood group A seem to be more fertile.
More than 560 women with an average age of 35 undergoing fertility treatment took part in the research, led by experts from Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York and Yale University.
Blood samples were taken to measure levels of follicle stimulating hormone (FSH), a known marker of fertility.
FSH levels greater than 10 suggest a woman will have more difficulty conceiving than those whose levels are under 10.
A high FSH level indicates a diminished ovarian reserve, which refers to both egg quality and the number of eggs left available for fertilisation.
Ovarian reserve tends to decline significantly as a woman reaches her middle and late 30s and faster in the early 40s.
The study found that women who were blood type O were twice as likely to have an FSH level greater than 10 as those in any other blood group. The findings held true even when a woman's age was taken into account and the fact the women came from two different clinics.
Meanwhile, those with blood group A were "significantly less likely" to have an FSH level greater than 10 than those who were blood group O.
Some 44% of the UK population are blood group O and 42% are type A.
People with blood group A carry the A antigen, which is a protein on the surface of the cell, but this is absent in people with O type.
Dr Edward Nejat, from the department of obstetrics and gynaecology at Albert Einstein College, is presenting his findings at the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) conference in Denver.
He said: "In both groups of women that were seeking fertility treatment, those with blood type O were twice as likely to have an FSH level over 10 than those with blood types other than O.
"We found that women with A and AB – women with the A blood group gene – were protected from this effect of diminished ovarian reserve.
"From the population we studied, and the fact it was two different centres and there was a good mix of patients ethnically and racially, we can say that blood type O was associated with an FSH level greater than 10 in women seeking infertility evaluation and/or treatment.
"Patients with blood type O seeking infertility evaluation at these centres have a higher likelihood to be diagnosed with elevated FSH and hence manifest diminished ovarian reserve."
Nejat said FSH levels were just one marker of fertility and more studies were needed."A woman's age remains the most important factor in determining her success of conceiving.
"The baseline FSH gives us an idea of the quality and quantity of a woman's eggs."
Tony Rutherford, chair of the British Fertility Society, said: "This is the first time that I'm aware of that researchers have shown a link between blood group and potential for fertility."
However, he said there were other hormones that predicted diminished ovarian reserve which were also important to assess.
"This is interesting and it shows a potential link but we really need to look at it with these other, more up to date tests of ovarian reserve."
Rutherford said a bigger study would need to be carried out in the general population to see if blood group caused potential problems for all women trying to conceive.
"We need to look at a prospective group of women to see if blood group affects your chance of getting pregnant," he said. "This needs further exploration."
-----
MY BLOOD TYPE: O
husband's: AB
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