September 5, 2012

Back from the Island :)

I'm back from Pulau Redang, and to those yang takpenah pegi, SILA LAH PERGI SEBAB CANTIK SANGAT SANGAT SANGAT!!! sangat menenangkan jiwa dan raga!
Air laut yg biru turquoise JERNIH sesangat2!
Well this is not a honeymoon, this is a family trip. bapak aku mmg every year, on the month of Syawal, mmg akan bawak family jejalan.
I remembered in 2010, we went to GoldCoast, Australia, masa tu baru lepas cucuk hCG shot, and we should have "Timed Intercourse" in GoldCoast, mase tu berangan kunun dapat la buat anak kat negeri omputeh. ahahaha
2weeks after balik dari sana, ive got a faint positive, but 5 days later, i got my period.
so it was a chemical pregnancy then.

In 2011, we went to Bali, Indonesia. Masa tu berbulan tak period, and takde rasa apa2 pun. Pegi Bali mmg nak enjoy je dengan family.

And this year, yang bestnya dapat snorkeling (first time eh) and took photos under the water!! :D
tapi bukan our camera lah, ni yang underwater photographer kat redang tu ambik, we can view the photos later and pay for which one  we like. (we took them all!) :P 6 keping je. ye la orang pun ramai.

Hehe that's me, beriya tahan nafas tapi masuk jugak air dlm idung :P
That's my Cik Abang. Disuruh buat pose Superman. hhuehuehe

Cik Abang again, 2nd attempt
Ngam2 ada ikan kat tangan aku tu :P
Both of us :D
Huhu mata hubby terkenyit sbelah, air masuk mata.
from left - umi (stepmom),mail(cousin),hubby,me,ikmal(brother)babah

And you know what, my BBT was elevated and i feel more bloated, gemok than ever. hahahaa...asik makannnnn je, ketagih nasik. So yeah, the progesterone that did it, and most importantly, my OWN progesterone.! no drugs, no nothing this time :D only supplements like EPO.
So i'll just wait for another week, for my period to come. if it doesnt show up, then boleh Jeng Jeng Jeng walaupun tak mengharap apa. Just happy that I'm fine now :)
i know that i'm ok when i have sore nipple/breastpain/HUNGRY/mild cramps on my abdomen.
then i know that my hormones had gone back to work! tahniah!


This is my BBT, yg tiba2 NAIK skejap lepas beberapa hari period tu sebab demam. (dotted lines)
Then lepas dah baik demam, dia normal balik and tibe2 dapat coverlines, 2 3 hari before coverline tu pun dah memang rasa breastpain/cramps so yeah, could be ovulated during that time :D
I CAN OVULATE ON MY OWN!!! (agaknye laa)
Who needs clomid??HCG???letrozole?metformin?provera?duphaston?etc etc!
SEE i cannnn do this without drugs!
thank you Allah :D
So PCOS, u might as well pegi berambus from my body now! Dont kacau my ovary again! tahu!
i know that BBT chart bukanlah 100% accurate tapi knowing my body, having breast pain on my own, having mild cramps and food cravings are sign that my hormones are working.
Dulu time skolah, takpenah makan ubat2 apa2 and i felt all this stuffs when period was about to come in 2 weeks.
last year tak period lansung on my own kan? Langsung takde breast pain watsoever simptom.
then Early this year, after consuming noni chewable tablet by biodex for whole 2months, i got my period on my own again with all those simptoms. SO yeah, body sendri, sendri la yg tau kan :D
Alhamdulillah ;)
This months boleh hope sikit la walaupun takkisah sangat sebab semua dgn izin Allah swt juga :)
I've done some "Self-Meditation" sebenanya during this month, then nampak sangat perubahan positive on my BBT, i will share about this on my next post ;) WISHMELUCK&BABYDUST :D


August 29, 2012

The Happiest Raya

Know why?
BECAUSE NO ONE ASKED THE DUMB QUESTION!!!!
 
It's 11th of Syawal today and still, no one is getting on my nerves.
Thank you Allah! and thank you relatives! you are making me loving you guys more! hahaha..
mcm tu la sedara..ni tak, asik sakitkan ati je..kan bagus kalau semua tak tanya, aku rasa bahagia yang teramat, ini RAYA yg paling bahagia! Syukur Alhamdulillah.

And i have no odd feelings about touching people's belly. hahaha! Salam2 aku terus pegi pegang perut org yg pregnant tu sambil berkata WAH baby dah besar!! Bila nak due ni? *Sambil Sengeh Lebar*
(dalam hati berdoa: plis plis plis jgn tanya aku ape2 jgn tanye aku ape2)

mujur, tak tanya!!!
ok mane satu nak citer dulu ni.

1 Syawal 1433H/RayaPertama
Tahun ni kan aku kena raya kat Shah Alam dulu, kat umah mertua aku sebab kata laki aku, adik2 ipar dia smua ke kampung, rumah mertua memasing dan yang baru bersalin aritu berpantang di rumah mertua. adik ipar sorang lagi, walaupun rumah mertua nya di dalam Shah Alam gak tapi dah bagitau mmg byk spend rumah mertua dia. Jadi aku pun setuju la stay kat rumah mertua aku for first raya. Bapak aku pun dah bgtau nak raya rumah umi (stepmother) dulu di Klang.
So utk raya pertama, kami pergi 2 rumah je iaitu umah tokchik dia (the only atok yang tinggal) pun kat Shah Alam gak.

Masa kat rumah tokchik, ramai juga anak2, menantu2, & cucu2 dia. Memang ada la sorang dua yg aku terperasan bile salam, mata pandang perut aku. *Eleh u jeles i kurus kan?* heheheh
tapi pandang je, tak cakap apa. pandang takpe! :P

Sepanjang perjalanan b4 ke rumah tokchik tu aku asik laaaaa doa doa doa. sungguh2 aku doa ni. bukan aku cakap je. aku punye laa doa & zikir dan niat moga2 bile diorang nampak je muke aku, diorg TAK TERFIKIR pun pasal baby. Sebab niat aku, aku taknak benci sedara-mara. Niat aku, aku nak eratkan silaturrahim dan taknak benci sesama sdare just bcoz of that question. Sebab itu yang selama ni aku rasa. Taknak jumpe orang sbb nnt org tanya, nnt kite sedih, nnt kite marah. and it will ruin our raya.
Aku borak dgn WanChik (atok perempuan) wanchik lagi tak tanya lansung, dia cuma tanya bapak aku & umi sihat ke tak. so aku ada la modal nak citer sbb haritu umi kena thyroid, warded and watsoever.

Padahal masa kat rumah dia, semua cerita2 pasal anak memasing, pasal ragam mengandung, dan yg "standard2" lah benda yang dibualkan. Mungkin aku sendri pandai curik masa nak nyorok, so that diorang tak perasan sgt pressence aku supaya soalan tu tak diajukan. (Punya la FOBIA dengan soalan ni sampai mcm tu skali aku)

AND IT WORKS! people!
doa & zikir, works. i tell u. u should try. Zikir apa? Zikir apa2. Semudah "Laillahaillallah", feel it, embrace it.
sambil baca, tarik nafas dalam2, and imagine their 'beautiful faces', imagine yang diorang tak terpikir lansung pun nak tanya or provoke2 u about baby. Imagine they ask u only non-sensitive raya questions such as "Awak sihat ke? Awak balik jb bila?"
atau
"masih keje kat tempat same eh?"
atau
"mak ayah awak sihat?"
atau
"rumah kat mana?"
haaaaa selama ni korang tak terpikir ehhh soalan tu semua? hehehehe Alhamdulillah tahun ni baru semua soalan tu korang nak tanya. kan bagus kalau dari dulu mcm tu? :D

Kita leh mintak semua ni dgn Allah. Allah tu maha dan maha dan MAHA penyayang. kalau dia tak bagi kau anak lagi, cuba lah kau mintak Hati dilembutkan, atau mintak lembutkan hati saudara-mara supaya sensitif dgn issue ni. Boleh je mintak. tapi kau mintak tak? Asik2 mintak anak je. Cube try mintak lain.
I told you that we can do anything to make setan tak berkompang untuk bagi kita sedih/marah/benci.

But i pity some of my TTC friends, yang masih kena lagi dengan saudara-mara. :( Jangan sedih lama2. I was in your shoes before, i know the feelings suck big time! tapi masa tu memang clueless taktau macam mana nak avoid.
Takpe lah, banyak zikir ok? banyak doa dalam solat, moga Allah kuatkan hati kita.
Aku ni pun belum tentu lagi entah2 Syawal ke 20, Syawal ke 25, kena tembak jugak.
Jadi aku beringat la supaya jgn stop berdoa kpd Allah supaya orang tak sakitkan hati aku. semua kerana Allah je niat aku. Aku taknak Allah marah aku sebab benci sesama umat, dek kerana soalan tu.
Jadi aku mintak tolong Allah lembutkan hati aku dan hati orang supaya tau yang bende ni sensitif.

bak katenye aku macam dah jampi siap2.
puhhh puhhh puuhhh (tiup kat smua orang supaya LUPA yang aku takde anak) heheheheh

Cuma yang ANEH masa di rumah tokchik tu, ada seorang nenek yang aku xpernah jumpa. kata laki aku dia kakak kpd tokchik. dia asik pandanggg je aku dan senyum. tua dalam 80an aku rasa sebab jalan pun bongkok sangat.
masa nak balik, aku salam dia, dia PELOK AKU.
lepastu dia usap2 belakang aku and berkata "Semoga awak sihat ya" :)
:-O

aku pun cam Erkkk...aaaa terima kasih tok. Bukan patut aku yang muda ni doakan dia sihat? haish aku ni pun. weird jugak. cuma aku aminkan je doa dia. mungkin nenek tu leh bace kot aku ni baru lepas berubat ke apa ke. kalau di doakan begitu, AMIN. :D

Kat kampung aku di Tangkak, memang takde orang tanya. Heh. MakNgah aku cuma tanya BILA!!! BILA NAK DAPAT GAMBAR MAKNGAH!
hahahahhaaaaa berderau gak darah naik bile die tanya BILA tu rupenye bila nak dapat gambar sebab aku janji nak editkan gamba dia, pastu aku leh tertinggal lak gambar tu kat Shah Alam. hehehehe..astu album kawin anak dia aku tak print lagi sbb anak dia tak approve! kazen aku cerewet so die kata lambat2 pun takpe janji die puas ati. die tattau mak dia asik ambush aku tanya BILA NAK SIAP GAMBAR!
hehehehe

Kat blah side arwah mak aku, ada bbq kat umah auntie aku di jb. kami sampai JB mlm hari raya ke 2.
aku ade jumpe atok aku katsitu, itu pun dah nak balik sbb aku sibuk mengadap kazen aku sorg lagi yg baru beranak, aku saja nak dgr cerita breastfeed dia, dgr pengalaman beranak dia. saje nak elak org lain tanya2 so aku dok dgn kazen2 aku je. hehehe
tapi then atok aku pun tak tanya pun! aku yg start dulu sbb aku takot dia yg start.
jadi aku nak balik tu aku salam raya dgn dia, aku kata "tok, doakan ye"
"aaaaaaaaaa takde lagi la ni?"
"takde, tapi aritu sakit. takleh nak ada..ni dah baik dah ni, tok doakan la"
"sakit apaaaaa :-O
"alaa sakit mcm2"
"ape nii muda2 sakit"
"takpe esok2 dah baik la ni" aku sengeh kerang dan cepat2 pegi salam orang lain.

ada sorg kazen aku masa kat umah auntie aku tu dtg and pegang perut aku.

aku tanya "Apa?"

"heheh. takde ape. awak kurus" :)

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa tau pun takot nak tanye :P
aku tau ape tujuan pegang perut tu tapi takpe, as long dia tak tanya, aku ok.

2Syawal1433H/Raya Kedua
tapi laki aku cakap kat rumah auntie aku tu, masa laki aku sibuk2 ambik gamba anak kazen aku, ade auntie sorang lagi nak tanya dia tapi die tarik jauh sket n ckp slow2 "bile lagi awak ni :) awak tak teringin ke :)"
"belum rezeki lagi auntie, siapa yang kawin taknak anak?"
"mudahan2 la rezeki awak lepasni :) insyallah, ada nanti..byk berdoa ye"

heh, kesian laki aku je kene tembak sorang. tapi auntie tu tanya mcm tu je la dia tak provok2.lagipun tanya slow2 ok la..jgn pi jerit depan orang yg boleh bawak gaduh tu.

AND THIS WEEK. my BBT RISES and IM GETTING BACK THE BREAST PAIN WHICH I MISS! AND perut senak2, pedih di abdomen macam nak period balik. abdomen aku KERAS skit pun ada.
kepala peninggggggggg je makan panadol tak jalan, makan uphamol tak jalan.



the most important thing is im getting the breast pain which means i MAY ovulated, and my progesterone is working. Alhamdulillah syukur ya Allah. LEGA bila rasa macam ni sebab masa zaman skolah dulu, bila nak period memang macam ni.
if i am having back my periods, im glad it was WITHOUT DRUGS again :D
sori aku memang gembira kalau having breast pain, dulu penah ada entry jakun TENDER..NIPS hahahahahaa most people dont like it. but not me.
i love having it! having it means im back to my normal track, and my hormones are working ;)
:D
we are going to PULAU REDANG tomorrow, mcm biasa tiap2 tahun bulan Syawal memang akan berjalan with my family. tahun ni tak pegi oversea pulak :P bapakku nak saving duit katenye :P hehehe Redang pun Redang laaaaaaa...........kalau period kat redang? Ahh takpe!

Selamat hari raya, uolls.
I really hope u guys are happy :)

August 17, 2012

Period!

Yesterday at 4pm, i felt something was coming out but i ignored it because i thought it was a normal vaginal discharge. then balik je rumah tengok, ada darah merah.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I'M HAVING MY PERIODS BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
its thick, and bright red, so i know it was not spotting, it was blood.
SUKA GILA excited terus pegi pakai pad hahAhahaha
walaupun dah petang dan lagi 2 hari nak raya, TAKPE LAH.
(saya raya awal)
heuheuheuheueee
i have no senggugut at all, (ada senak2 sikit je), no breast pain. senak di abdomen je.
tapi tak sakit mana pun, so i knew myself that maybe, this rahim is really new and tried to adapt with my cycle.
well my last period was 15 June - 21 June (malam selepas berubat tu terus period, remember?)
So am i getting on with my usual cycle during my normal days zaman sekolah2 dulu (2 bulan sekali)
kalau ya, Alhamdulillah syukur, 2 bulan skali means long cycle, but its normal to have long cycle as long as it is consistent.

BUT.

ok. ada BUT.

now the darah already gone dan tak kuar2. -___-

so period satu hari?!

This was the chronicles

15 - 21 June : Normal period, healthy period
5   - 16 July : Spotting
16 Aug : bright red, thick blood but only lasted till midnight.

(1st cycle: 23 days) and (2nd cycle: 43 days)

Okay skang ni pagi lagi apa kata kite sabar dan tunggu sampai petang.

Tapi ada gak google apa possibility leh jadi mcm ni kan.
So here's various of answers from Dr Edward Ramirez http://womenshealthandfertility.blogspot.com/2010/03/very-weak-one-day-menstrual-flow-is.html

Kemungkinan:

1. It's normal because the amount of blood flow is proportional to the thickness of endometrial lining. So my uterus mungkin baru nak develop it's own lining? And as long as it is a flow, it's nothing to worry about.

2. Hormonal imbalance *menguap* b o r i n g

3. Implantation bleeding (which i dont think so) - BBT is low today 36.34c so, nope, i dont think so.

Well, it's okay we'll wait until evening, or tomorrow.
Nak je minum air nenas ke apa bagi dia kuar banyak tapi kot tajam sangat kang bahaya. hmm

Apa2 pun I'm glad to have my periods back!! :D
Korang penah period satu hari ke??
---
Selamat Hari Raya to me! ;P huhuhu